The following are the modified version of what was discussed on the Rick's Journal videos.
Exclusion
Exclusion is basically barring someone from a place or a group. I will be tying this to anxiety and depression. To use my own experience, I will refer to the time when I was livestreaming regularly. I was just talking about anxiety and focusing heavily on the time when I was suicidal. I was just discussing my thoughts on the matter regarding my mental state at the time.
Two people showed up in chat and these were basically the two things they brought up. First, they called me an attention seeker. They claimed I'm using anxiety to attract viewers and use drama to get the attention I need. Secondly, they literally told me to kill myself since it would make it easier for me. They suggested that it would be all over if I just ended my life.
These responses saddened me greatly. Mental illnesses aren't taken seriously and many people see these call for help as attention seeking. I'm one of the fortunate ones to have failed but there are people out there who haven't. Yet, their stories would never be known since they are essentially unknown in society, possibly just another number in a stat few people care about.
Words can hurt people more than most believe they can. I managed to develop thick skin for these as, being my biggest critic, I had said much worse things. As a result, these people must be more original if they want to get a laugh out of me. With these people out on social media and various parts of internet, people either remain silent or seek help by going to forums where they wouldn't be judged.
Being part of a few forums and some social media, I learned that my experience wasn't unique. People with anxiety and depression are made fun of and aren't taken serious of. A common thing men suffering mental illness hear is to man up. If this was so easy, mental illness wouldn't be such a serious issue. Yet, the stigma we face with mental illness means this keeps happening.
These sort of actions create these barriers where those suffering from real issues feel like they don't belong. It's another form of exclusion where we feel like we aren't normal and don't belong to the society we're in. To avoid this exclusion, we often remain silent because we don't want to be seen as different. Many of us even go long lengths to change ourselves in order to fit it and avoid this exclusion.
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Exclusion generally happens when a group sees someone who is too different and don't want this person. In a society where mental illnesses isn't very understood, those of us suffering from mental illness feel like we don't belong. Even talking about the issue results in a number of unfavorable situations like being called attention seeker so our call for help goes unnoticed.
Human beings want to find a place where they belong. They are social animals who are afraid of being alone. This could be due to our ancestors where, due to many dangerous predators, there is strength in numbers. Nowadays, going alone doesn't have the same consequences as in the past but it's difficulty to overcome what has basically been part of our instincts.
Many of us, facing the prospect of exclusion and loneliness due to our mental illnesses, usually take two paths. First, we choose the path of silence where we don't discuss our issues. We bottle it up inside of us hoping others cannot see it so they won't notice it. Sadly, bottling up the negative thoughts and emotions lets them eat us from within until there's nothing left.
Secondly, we change who we are. We change how we act, how we dress, how we look and anything that could improve our chance of fitting into a group. We put on this mask which allows us to fit into groups where we finally feel like we belong somewhere. Yet, there will be moments where our masks have cracks and people will notice. They will then abandon you nonetheless as they had seen the real you andee only accepted the you with the mask on.
Remember that bottling everything up isn't an option. There are others facing similar challenges so you can find them if you look. In addition, you shouldn't change yourself as this doesn't help you. Be yourself and, if you are lonely, go elsewhere. Explore the world and go on journeys that will bring you in contact of people who will be there whenever you need them. We face many challenges in life already so we don't need more by being false to ourselves.
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Exclusion isn't necessarily a bad thing. This happens when you are different which, in our society, is often portrayed as something bad. Different is associated with outcast and someone who isn't part of the norm. Yet, we must look at the successful people in our society today who have found success other people could only dream of but could never hope to achieve.
This makes these successful people different but we don't view this as bad. Therefore, you being excluded means you are destined for greatness. You are different because you are given different tools, thoughts and dreams than other people. What you possess will get you success others people can only dream of. Does your difference still appear so negative now?
Many of the successful people also got scoffed at and excluded in the past. Many of them were excluded as they were seen as too radical and too weird. Instead of letting these hold them down and forcing them to become someone they're not, these people kept going with their ideas and dreams until they achieved a situation where they couldn't care what the critics say.
What's stopping you from finding similar success? You might be excluded and have no friends. Yet, these factors won't stop you from achieving new heights. The lonely road will make you stronger as long as you stay true to your journey following a dream only you can see. The only person who can stop you from completing this journey is you.
Don't see exclusion as something bad. You probably outgrown where you are spending most of your time. These people aren't those you want to befriend. Sure, they want to be your friends when you find success but they will keep their distance during your lows in life. Better accept loneliness as a gift that will make you more than ordinary than stay with people who fear what you are capable of. In addition, the exclusion saves you the trouble from needing to rid these people later on in life.
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Falling Behind
I have personal experience with falling behind where I'm struggling with my studies while the others seem to be doing very well. They are either graduating or close to graduating with jobs lined up. I don't even know when I'll be graduating so you can probably understand why I'm feeling discouraged. As a result, I started making excuses and playing the blame game for why this is happening to me.
After experiencing life, watching videos and learning more about myself, I realized that I haven't really fallen behind. These are just stumbles in life that happens to everyone. However, making excuses and playing the blame game was making me fall behind because these were how I was spending my time. Time, as we all know, is a valuable resource which isn't renewable.
We all have hopes and dreams. To achieve our dreams, we need a certain number of small steps and I'll use a million small steps for this example. Since there are no shortcuts, we cannot take a thousand small steps to reach our dreams. To simplify things, let's say we need hard work and time to make our dream a reality. Everyone can work hard to meet the steps needed.
If I was too busy making excuses and pitying myself, I'm essentially investing no time in the pursuit of my dreams. This is time I won't ever get back which means that, the more time I waste, the less likely I'll be able to reach my dreams. I'm not saying it's impossible but it gets even more difficult the later it gets. Therefore, the wiser approach is to make the best use of my time now and start taking these small steps.
Failing in studies isn't falling behind. Stumbling in our journey is part of life and life was never really a race. We all have different paths to walk so even something like comparing with others is a waste of time. The best use of time is focusing on the road ahead of us, steel ourselves during the challenges and invest every bit of it on the dreams we always had.
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In our society, it seems like we are living a very fast paced life. We also want instant gratification where we don't want to wait for something good to happen. Due to these factors, I can actually see falling behind being a good thing. Instead of racing with others to the destination, we can take a moment to look around our surrounding and admire the beauty of it.
The journey is always more important than destination. The journey also has numerous lessons we need to learn before we can reach newer heights in life. If we rush through the journey, we miss those valuable lessons and later look back wondering what we missed. Since time flows only one way, we won't get to experience the same journey again so we won't have a second chance at obtaining all the skills to tap into our full potential.
It's true that falling behind is tough. We see the backs of other people who are sprinting into the distance to their definition of success. Yet, we will stumble in life and sometimes we don't get back immediately. During this struggle to get up on our feet, we take a moment to get our breath back and a quick glance around made us realized that we missed so much of what life can truly offer us.
Sure, we can gain a lot of information on social media and google. Yet, these can never rival what we can experience in real life. We can easily forget something we read online but the experiences we have stick with us. Even if we cannot recollect the details, the experience will always have a place in our memory and it can be brought out at various moments in our lives.
When I was falling behind, life actually had something planned for me. It allowed me to do a month of door to door sales. This changes my life and taught me more about life than all of the school I've taken up to that point which is closing in on fifteen years. Therefore, falling behind is just a way life tells us that we have other paths to take. If we are daring enough to take advantage of the opportunities, we will find ourselves surpassing the other people in no time.
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Purpose
We all want to believe we have a purpose in life. We are here for a reason and something great is waiting for us to accomplish. We usually think about our purpose when we experience the lowest point of our life. When I was depressed and suicidal, I thought and honestly believed that I don't have a purpose in life. The world wouldn't change if I left as though it could go forward without me even existing.
I even had the belief that the world would be a better place without me using up resources. I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences when they face anxiety and depression. They wonder why they are existing on this world. However, I now believe that everyone have a purpose. People have great potential and possess a gift that would enable them to do the seemingly impossible.
The main issue with this purpose and gift is that we struggle to discover it. Things like education can bar us from discovering our true purpose. Let's use our schools as an example. Schools teach us to not make mistakes, get good grade until we get a diploma or degree and work until we retire. Society makes it so any path that doesn't follow education is seen as foolish.
As a result, many people don't unlock their potential. These people might do well at school but there is something they could do better. When we are told that school is the only way for success, we become too terrified to do something different that's out of our comfort zone. Now, there are people who do find success after going to school and doing what society praise as the norm. Yet, this isn't the path for everyone.
Regardless of whether we feel down or happy, we must find our purpose. Once we find it, we will know what we excel at. Things we can do better than other people. Things other might believe is impossible but, since this is a gift we are given, we can accomplish and change the world to make it a better place!
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We all want to find our purpose but we wonder how we can do so. One method that usually doesn't work is searching on the internet for answers. There might be a lot of information on the internet but it's just so easy for us to experience information overload. We also become overwhelmed as we see so many opportunities out there. We start dreaming about what we can do and dreams don't come true by dreaming alone.
I believe people must see more of the world if they want to find their purpose. If you lack the budget to see other parts of the world or another part of your country, you should explore you own city or town. There are rich histories that probably isn't well known. Go to a library and look at older newspapers to see what sort of secrets are hidden from much of the public.
Doing something out of your comfort zone is another method. If you haven't found your purpose from your immediate environment, it might not be available from where you are at. Be bold and, when you succeed, you build more confidence. Too often, people lack confidence to pursue their dreams even when they know this dream is what's needed to make them happy. Start building confidence so that, when you discover your dream, you can pursue it without hesitation.
Therefore, you shouldn't always remain indoors when there's so much to see outdoors. Don't always sit in front of your computer unless your purpose and dream involves game designing or software programmer or anything requiring a computer. We don't experience by reading things on a monitor. We only experience by doing something, talking to people and making mistakes that teach us valuable lessons. Go out there and know that opportunities and special people are there waiting to meet you.
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We define purpose differently and here's how I define it. There are a few requirements before you know you found your purpose. First, a purpose is tough and doesn't become a reality until time and effort had been invested into it. We all know the saying of easy come easy go. The same applies to purpose where, if you lower the bar and it comes true very quickly, you began to wonder if there's more to life.
Secondly, a purpose must be something you enjoy and are passionate about. It must be something you truly believe in and no one could convince you otherwise. If this isn't the case, then you will likely give up when the going gets tough. If life taught us anything, it's that things don't normally go our way and our resolve and determination are tested often. You shouldn't be dissuaded from your purpose ever regardless of the situation.
Thirdly, our purpose should affect a lot more people. We see people with goals like being rich so they can afford all the bells and whistles. There's a lot more to life than wealth. If you can do something that helps other people like getting them out of poverty or give them hope during their darkest moments, you will find those moments much more fulfilling than having more money than you know how to spend.
Purpose also doesn't have to be something incredible. Our society portray people who found their purpose as those millionaires or billionaires or people who are fighting things like poverty. Yet, purpose doesn't have to be at such an enormous scale. It could be something small but impactful. One example I can think of is creating a stronger community where you live.
There are communities out there where people don't necessarily know their neighbors. Other than exchanges of a few greetings, neighbors don't interact with one another. Someone could change that by ways like organizing a barbecue and inviting all the neighbors. You are letting them know one another more and create stronger bonds. This results in a stronger community where people will support each other during the tough moments in life.
Now, this won't show up in the news or be well-known across the world but it can be impactful. We shouldn't underestimate how small gestures can change the world. A better community see people more positive and positivity can spread further at workplaces or other locations outside the community. If we have a million of these small changes, we can see a larger impact on the world as a whole. Remember that our purpose might not make us famous but it can improve the world in ways we cannot imagine!
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Sleep
Sleep is sort of a weird topic but I can see it tie closely with success, purpose and how we live our lives. There are many people who watch motivational videos like me and we no doubt come across some videos where the speaker tell us that we should sacrifice sleep for a dream. They say that, if it's big enough of a dream, we should put more time and effort into it.
I personally can run off five to six hours of sleep a day where I remain somewhat productive. There are definitely people out there who can run on less sleep. For me, I don't see myself able to function with less sleep than five hours. I just start dozing off as my body complains and no amount of willpower, at least none I have discovered, can get me to overcome dozing off.
I believe that, at the very least, we should try to avoid oversleeping. During the weekends, we might be tempted to remain in bed, especially during the dark winter days where it's warmer in bed. However, the extra sleep doesn't necessarily help us. I find myself becoming more drowsy when I oversleep and don't even feel rested. Therefore, we don't need to sleep in as seven to eight hours is about the most we need. Anymore and we will be cutting into time we can use to pursue other things in life.
Now, we must find a balance between sleep and work. When we are young, we can stay up late studying for exams. If we do this regularly and even later when we are working, we get into a habit that will affect our physical health. When we get older, we'll develop various problems because we didn't take better care of ourselves when we were younger. After all, we feel invincible when we are younger.
The reason why we sought out our purpose and pursue our dreams is to achieve happiness. Yet, we cannot find happiness when we are sick all the time. How positive can we be when we have a terrible headache and struggling to recover? If you can push yourself when you are young, you should do so. Yet, keep in mind that the body shouldn't be neglected. We shouldn't be so focused on making our dream come sooner that we lose sight of how we still need our bodies to enjoy the bright future we create for ourselves.
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Motivation
Here I want to talk about my thoughts on motivation including their pros and cons. Yes, there are cons for motivation but I will be covering that for a later entry. Motivation is generally the drive or passion people have which sees them start or continue doing a certain task regardless of how difficulty it made be. If we ask a lot of people why they aren't pursuing their dreams or why they aren't changing certain habits, chances are they will answer that they lack motivation.
Motivation comes in many forms and I'll be discuss one of them for this entry. Let's use the scenario of someone who had gone to school, got a degree and have been working at a job for ten years. He or she might suddenly wonder if there's more to his or her life. Essentially, life seems mundane and not necessarily what these people had in mind. It's also quite possible that they thought back to the dreams they had in the past like singer, writer and game developer to name a few examples.
What happens is these people desire more in life whether it's a better job to afford more stuff or more exciting life. This motivates them to change what's happening in their life and habits or ideas could be changed. Maybe a change in budget sees more saved up for vacations or trying out new hobbies when the person normally sits in front of a television. The desire gets the person to change because he or she doesn't want everything to be practically the same every single day.
We all know that, often, starting something is the most difficult. We all have great ideas but we often need a good reason to do it. Sometimes, we wait for encouragements from other people. Other times, we need something to happen in our lives. In the scenario above, it's the fact that nothing is happening in our lives that makes us want to do something about it. The motivation simply gives us the reason to do and, for some people, that's all they needed. A push in the right direction and they would do the rest.
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Motivation is also great when we are already pursuing our dreams. In the early stages, we will encounter difficulties which is normal in life. We, after all, don't find success instantly. Even the small victories we need won't show up until we have been pursuing a dream for awhile. I will be using a business as an example for illustrate this.
At the start of a business, there's a good chance that there is very little, if any, revenue. The only customers might be your family members but this isn't how your business will grow. You need to reach out to the wider market and other people to buy. Naturally, you do marketing and advertising to get attentions but, as a new and small business, time is needed before you really find a loyal customer base to make the business grow.
After a few months, your business might be losing money and your family members along with friends suggest you quit and cut your losses. This is one of the tougher moments regardless of what your dream is. You had all this drive to start your dream but it does disappear after awhile. This is when we are tested in how determined we are to make our dreams come true and this is also when motivation can be quite helpful.
Before any victories, we will be discouraged by the lack of success. Motivation can help by rekindling the fire we had when we first started. We all need a few pushes along the way to get back our momentum and not lose hope. Listening to successful person, especially someone who is your role model and have done what you wish to accomplish, is vital in that they will share their experiences, some of which being quite similar to what you are experiencing at the time.
It's not smart to underestimate what motivation can do. They can get you to do something you always wanted but maybe hesitate to do. They can continue fueling the fire inside you so you can persevere and move forward without ever giving up. Yet, motivation do have their cons as they aren't perfect and I'll be discussing those in the upcoming entries.
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We'll be starting with the cons of motivation which seems like rather odd. After all, I did mention how motivation can spark us into doing something or give us the push to keep doing what we started. Know that I'm not saying motivation is bad. I'm just saying that motivation comes in all forms and sizes and isn't always necessarily the only way to find success so we shouldn't rely solely on it.
One of our motivation is fear. People afraid of losing job or being homeless will be motivated by fear. It's not great motivation but it's motivation nonetheless. There are a few issues with fear being your motivation. First, it's never a good idea to stress out about life all the time. We have all been there where we have some exam and we stress out on whether we did well or not. This is not a healthy lifestyle at all.
Secondly, fear is only motivating us when it's there. We no longer found the drive to keep going when the fear is gone. Let's say you work at a company and heard news of possible downsizing. Fearing you might be one of those people to be let go, you decided to work extra hard and your performance improves dramatically. The downsizing then happens and you keep your job. No longer fearing the loss of a job, you stopped working hard and go back to your old routines. It's quite possible that, if you kept working hard, you would have moved up the company much faster.
Another sort of motivations can be illustrated with the example of a guy wanting a girl but the girl doesn't want an overweight guy. Therefore, he went to the gym daily and dropped a lot of weight until he got the girl's hand. Now that he got the girl as his wife, what's motivating him to keep going to the gym? Therefore, there are motivations that are terrible and aren't worth the trouble. When we are driven by fear or goals that are short term, we are only temporarily motivated before we return to our mediocre self.
Motivation can be great but we must be very careful with what motivation we use. Temporary motivation won't get us anywhere since anything great or meaningful takes time. Fear is also something we don't want running our lives. We must focus on what's important and not let negative emotions control us or our every single day would be miserable as we never see the positives of our future.
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Another con for motivation is the reliance of people on it. When these people are asked why they aren't pursuing their dreams or do something they know is good for them, they respond by saying they don't feel like it or feel inspired enough to do it. Things, unfortunately, don't go that way since we generally have as many lows and the highs in our lives. I was definitely like that when I was depressed as I never felt like do anything other than stay in my room and do nothing. No bit of motivation could've changed that.
As someone who watches motivational videos quite often, I can say from my experience that these videos are very powerful. Yet, one issue I've noticed is how they only work temporarily. In other words, the inspiration and motivation might last an hour or so before they dissipate. The words felt more like a brief inject of "drug" to make me feel great. Motivation appear to be a temporary measure but it shouldn't be the dominant force for why you are doing something.
We must always figure out why we are doing a certain action or pursuing a certain dream. If people are doing certain actions due to motivation they got from a certain talk or video, they will likely give up the moment the motivation wears off. Motivation is there to spark something inside us and/or make the fire brighter if it's already lit. Yet, we cannot expect it to maintain the fire for the entire duration of a dream that takes years, if not decades, to come true.
As for this why, we need focus on more than ourselves. For instance, we might want to accomplish a certain goal to make our life easier. When the journey to reach this goal becomes tough, we might not see this as worth it so we give it up. When we are doing this to help other people, there's some strange strength that we acquire. There might be something you can relate to those people so something is triggered within you to keep going. When more than ourselves are at stake, we are more likely to persevere.
Don't be too reliant on motivation. We cannot always feel like it so we must push ourselves and discipline ourselves to do a certain task regardless how we feel. Life is filled with ups and downs so those who succeed are those who kept chasing their dreams during their downs as well. In the end, what truly motivates us isn't what other people can say. It's really what we feel about a certain dream and the why we justify for our dream in the first place.
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I'll be focusing solely on motivational videos this entry. I myself watch a fair bit of motivational videos and will be discussing the cons on what I've watched. What makes videos so powerful is that we have pictures and clips that go along with the audio. With the right combination, these videos can essentially change lives which is naturally the goal of these videos.
There are videos where we have multiple speakers and the clips shows the speakers their respective accomplishments. For an athlete, this might be a moment when the person competes in the Olympics and broke a world record. Essentially, we are seeing the highlight reel of a person as they reached the peak of their career and their dreams became a reality.
My main issue is that this seems very motivating. We feel pumped watching these highlight reel and find some fire burning inside us. Yet, these videos can accomplish the opposite. Let's use the scenario of person wanting to be a professional athlete. He or she got pumped from watching the video and headed into practice the next day. There's a possibility that, after a poor performance at practice, this person feels discouraged and wondered if he or she could achieve the next level.
I personally feel these videos would be a lot more powerful without showing the success of the people. We have enough exposure with news outlets and magazine. Instead, the videos should focus on the training regime. What most people must understand is that much of the work is done outside of the competition. These professionals work harder than other people and, even when they reached their peak, they disciplined themselves to continue working hard.
People nowadays don't need to see what success is. Instead, they need to see what is needed to get to that success. Maybe a clip of an athlete's daily training regime could be enough to tell our youths what they have to do to find success. People got to see what happens behind the scene because they would otherwise get the impression that success can be reached easily as showcased by the video. They get distracted by what was shown and don't necessary hear what was being said.
As a content creator, I know it's not easy to make those videos. I commend those people who make motivational videos but that doesn't meant they all accomplish the goal they aim for. We must get through to people how perseverance and hard work are needed for success. With videos being such powerful tools, we can do exactly that if we don't create illusions that fool people, especially many of our young people who have yet to experience things in real life.
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Change
Change will always happen in our lives regardless if we want it or not. We might move to a new country or a new technology has been introduced changing the ways of how we live. Maybe a new member enter the family like a new baby or an adopted child. With change, we must learn to adapt to it to continue thriving in our environment and minimize the negative impact of change.
With school not going well along with other things in my life not optimal, I'm also in the process of adapting to change. These changes were largely things I didn't want happening to me at the time and, as a result, I get really stressed out and anxious. The biggest thing I'm working on is my mindset which I learned is so vital in these sort of situations.
A lot of people can working on their mindset like me. It's something that seems insignificant but it can be such a large impact on our lives without changing anything else. Essentially, we need to adjust our mindset to accept the changes and be open-minded. Since change is unavoidable, we must make the best of it and, from what appears as chaos, find what we need to get further ahead in life. In the process, we also learn a bit about ourselves to better know our strengths.
Many people are, unfortunately, afraid of change. It's an interesting perspective where people like me with unfavorable situations want change while those with acceptable lives reject change. What we must remember is that change helps us grow, mature and find opportunities that had never existed before. When people fight change, they will find themselves struggling. For instance, those who couldn't embrace internet when it was picking up soon found themselves replaced in the job market by those who took advantage of the change.
The world is constantly changing without us doing anything. We can stay in our room and just do our hobbies but the changes will still come. Change isn't a bad thing and is more of something that's natural in this world of ours. It's normal to fear it but rejecting it outright without giving it a chance usually ends poorly.
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There are lots of changes we have no control over. Let's use the scenario of a morning where we wake up, eat breakfast and drive to work. For a specific day, there was a car accident on the route you normally take and traffic gets congested as a result. Then, you are pretty much guaranteed to be late for work and here is where mindset can play a role.
If you choose a negative mindset, you'll likely curse and be very frustrated with the development. Of course, this negative attitude doesn't end there. You'll be asked by your boss why you are late. When we are negative, we aren't in the best mood and that shows when we talk. The boss wasn't too happy about us being late already so our negative attitude likely makes it worse.
The boss, with a negative mood as a result, decides to make our life more difficult by being more picky on our mistakes. The day at work would be ruined but it wouldn't end there. We'd return home only to spread the negativity to our family which can cause fights and arguments. Overall, a day that started poorly just kept going downhill until it's just plainly a horrible day.
Conversely, we can be positive about the situation by accepting we will be late and think of ways to make up for it. We sincerely apologize to our boss and work harder/smarter to make up for the time. This would make a good impression on our boss who wouldn't be as hard on us the next time we're late. Given how things tend to happen often, there's a good chance we'll be late again in another situation we cannot control over.
Day at work went well and we returned home where, being in a more positive mood, we can communicate with family members properly without sparking conflicts. We would also be more likely to listen about their day when we aren't negative and this could help improve their day. With a positive attitude, the poor start was the only low point of the day and the rest of the day would be more than merely salvaged.
In our lives, we will encounter changes everyday and some might be in unimaginable ways. Yet, we can dictate how we decide on it. With a positive mindset, we can turn any day to a good day despite what sort of start we had. If we can maintain good days throughout the year, then we'd have a good year. Keep this up for a few decade and we'd have a much better life than many other people.
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I wish to talk about people fearing and resisting change in this entry. The main factor is the uncertainty involved when change happens. People like to have control of what's going to happen, how it's going to happen and, in an unfavorable situation, be in complete control during the damage control. This is difficult when a lot of changes happen when we least expect it.
Change brings a lot of unknown variables into a situation. Most people had situations where they made a plan and it went perfectly. This is always a great feeling where we felt we are in control and things go exactly the way we want it to. Change, however, makes our plans irrelevant. I was planning on finishing school to get a good job but change saw me failing courses and failing to get any internships.
When we thought we had life figured out, change arrives when we least expects it and sends us back to the drawing board. This bit of uncertainty is why people fear it. It's a bit like us playing a horror game where we enter a new area. Due to the atmosphere, we are worried and fearful despite not seeing any immediate threat in front of us. Our imagination create these horrors that may or may not be in the game.
What happens to us in real life is our minds generate things regarding uncertainty. We cannot see that far ahead and mindset plays a big role here as well. If we are negative, we think up all the worst case scenarios regarding a certain change. There are positive scenarios but our mindsets lets us only see the negative scenarios. Therefore, we do everything in our power to fight and resist change to avoid these worst case scenarios.
People scare themselves and some of these thoughts might be external. They might have heard stories from other people which gave them ideas. We must remember that we won't have control over everything so it's critical we don't create the negative scenarios before even attempting something. In this case, we are essentially delivering a mortal blow to our morale before the fight is even fought.
Don't conjure up anything when you think about the future. Everyone have their own lives and what happens to others won't necessarily happen to you. Simply make the best of your situation and be positive that everything will work out eventually. Then, you will get an average situation in the worst case scenario while you thrive in the best case scenario.
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Change forces us out of our comfort zone. That, alone, make it terrifying and undesirable for people. Comfort zones are the limits we place on ourselves. These limits are there before we even know what we are capable of. Change lets us step outside to see what we are truly capable of. Sure, we eventually find our real limits but we'll discover that these new limits far exceed what we placed on ourselves originally.
I was an introvert who was afraid of talking to strangers. The thought of it was terrifying for me. Yet, a month of door to door sales allowed me to discover the courageous side of me. The limits I put on myself no longer apply since I accomplished what seemed impossible for me. What ends up happening is we get comfortable with something new and, as a result, our comfort zone expands.
For too many people, they aim too low and fail to learn their true limits. They might reach the limits they put on themselves but such a scenario fail to tap into their inner potential. Later in life, these people wondered if they could've accomplish much more. Change makes this irrelevant by forcing you to get out of those limits regardless if you feel ready or not. You have to deal with it and, when you find success, you build confidence knowing you can achieve much more.
Change doesn't let you aim low so you are aiming further and higher. Even if we reach for the stars but never reach them, we'd reach unimaginable heights as a result. The odd thing is that, when we were younger, we don't believe in limits. This could be seen by the things we've done and learned as a kid. I like to use riding a bike as an example here.
When we were young, we try to learn to ride the bike the first time. Sure, we might fall the first few times and cry a little but we always get back up and try again until we succeed. As we grow older, we fear pain and do anything to avoid it. This often sees us unwilling to accept change or try new things. If we had this mentality when we were younger, then we'd quit the first time we fell and would never learn how to ride the bike.
For most adults, biking is something so simple. We went from not knowing how to becoming very comfortable with biking. Our comfort zone expanded to include this so we never even think twice before biking. This is true with other things in life. When we step out of the comfort zone, we aren't staying out of it forever. We are merely practice and learning until we include something new in the comfort zone. This would be the case for the Olympic athletes as well.
They had to push their limits to get to where they're at. Sure, they look so natural in competition but that wasn't always the case. They had injuries and doubt along the way but, with sufficient practice, they turn it into something natural. We can do that for everything when we try something new. It's not easy initially and requires hard work. We might even get hurt in the process but, as long as we try it and keep going, we'll be able to do it with comfort due to the confidence in our abilities.
For many people, change is so vital as they cannot get out of their comfort zone alone. What we are trying to accomplish to to expand the comfort zone to include things we, at one point, thought were difficult. As we keep learning and growing, we develop the skills to do harder tasks with relative ease. Our goal in life is really making incredible feats no different from riding a bike. We do it without hesitation and we never question our abilities.
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Anger
Anger is one of the more powerful emotions we possess and it can be quite destructive. Many people, like me, had moments when we are frustrated and our limits are pushed. We might be doing some task and it isn't going our way so we decide to turn to anger. The thing about anger is that, when it takes over, it takes over us completely.
We are no longer rational when we are angry. We might yell, throw tantrum or even use violence to express our anger. When we are angry, we are most certainly negative. We don't search for a solution or find a positive side to a situation. We generally want to take the situation into our own hands and, if yelling doesn't work, we resort to our fists.
The worst thing about anger is that it usually doesn't dissipate very quickly. It's a dangerous beast where it generally escalates the situation. Your anger can spark anger in other people and those situations get out of hand very quickly. With enough escalation, violence will happen and people will get hurt at the very least.
Another issue with anger is that it's one of the ways we vent out our frustrations. For some people, the venting is such a relief that they might resort to anger to rid the negativity not knowing that they are actually fueling it. Anger doesn't solve the root of the problem and often makes matters worse. For example, there might be talk of divorce between a couple. There could be a chance to resolve the issue but one anger moment transitioning into violence could end all hope.
Anger is a powerful emotion so we don't want it to take over us. We have no control as we become someone completely different. Then, we do things we regret later and, at times, we do things that cannot be salvaged. In life, we generally want to keep our anger under check. There are very few situations where anger is suitable so we must use it with caution.
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Past
The past is history. It has happened and we cannot change it. Therefore, we shouldn't be dwelling or focusing on the past. Why spend so much time on something we cannot change regardless how hard we work at it? The past can be a complicated matter and, for many people, it can be difficult escaping from it.
With the past, we are usually dealing with the regrets and the what ifs. We have regrets due to doing or not doing something. We like to think about what we could've done to change all of that. We post those what ifs wondering if things could've been different with the situation of us picking a different decision at the time. In the end, all of this does nothing but bring us more pain.
Yes, we might have good memory from back then. When I was at the lowest point of my life, I thought about my childhood. I thought about the carefree lifestyle where, outside of school and whatever activities my parents planned for me, I can just have fun. I didn't have any responsibilities and can just focus on having fun the best I can. Those days seems wonderful compared to now.
Yet, I'm not longer a kid anymore. I'm an adult with responsibilities and priorities in life. Comparing the past with the present, I feel pain. I realize I had wasted so much time that I could've used to make my life better. I could've gained new skills to make myself a better resume. Dwelling on the past only emphasizes the terrible present we have now which, as a result, makes us more miserable.
The past is important but we mustn't dwell on it. When we are busy dwelling on it, we cannot focus on the present. We cannot walk forward if we are looking back. Sure, we can learn to walk backwards but, by the time we mastered this ability, we would've lost more time in the process that we won't be getting back.
We can look at our past from time to time but it should never occupy our focus. Life won't wait up for us while we dwell in our history. We must resist the urge and keep pushing forward. The past may call on us but we should cover our ears and walk towards the future. We cannot ever be happy if we cannot move on from our past.
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We still need to look at our past from time to time despite the necessity of not dwelling on it. The past holds many lessons because, in our lives, everything happen for a reason and part of our job is to figure out why it happened to us and not others. We might have regrets like not finishing school, giving up on a dream or not asking a girl out at school.
What we must do is inspect our past to see what happened and why it happened. However, we must make sure not let regrets cause fear in us. If something happened, we shouldn't let it haunt us for the rest of our lives. For example, a bad experience with a girl shouldn't stop us from giving other girls a chance. The lessons we're learning aren't how to run away from things that hurt us.
We need to learn from our mistakes and really figure out why something happened. As much as we want to do it, we mustn't blame others. All of our mistakes are caused by ourselves due to poor judgement or simply lack of experience. We must understand that we will make mistakes in life and shouldn't be ashamed of it. The moment we let these mistakes create fear within ourselves, we'd lose our way forward.
There will be times where revisiting the past is tough. It's never easy going through some of the memories we'd rather leave behind. Don't dwell on it but know that these memories usually have the most to teach us. I had troubles revisiting my suicidal attempt but, by going through it and analyzing it properly, I realized that I was lonely and the silence was what drove me to that decision. This realization is partly why I started doing these journals.
For some of us, we must also defeat the demons from the past. We need to overcome a certain fear or conclude something for good. We need to move on so we can focus on the present and future. When we don't tie up the loose ends, these things can haunt us later in life. Given that we are mortals, we have limited time and it's better invested in the present and future than the future.
Never dwell on the past. Learn the lessons they offer you and move on. Each of these lessons you learn and master will get you further in life. The experience can be painful but, the more pain they cause you, the greater the lesson they can teach you. Don't shy from the pain that's temporary. If you are trapped in the past, then the pain will be permanent until you overcome it.
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Present
Out of the past, present and future, I believe the present is the most important. People generally think future is the most vital and underestimate what present can offer to us. I'll use myself as an example. I started pursuing my dream in hopes of helping those with mental illnesses. When I had the idea, I could've easily dream on it and keep planning until the right moment shows up.
Instead, I decided to act and dive in head first. Yes, I am inexperienced and have much to learn. Yet, I'm taking the first step which seems so difficulty for so many people. Now, this dream, like so many others, is called a dream because it seems so impossible that accomplishing would still appear like a dream. As a result, something this big takes time and I should start now so it can become a reality sooner rather than later.
Why not now? People keep dreaming and thinking when they hesitate to start now. The present is something we have direct control over. We cannot control our past and we have indirect control over the future. The present is when changes happen and, with the right changes, we can chart a much brighter future than the one we saw before.
Changes also don't happen overnight. Habits, especially the good ones, take time to develop. If you start your change now, then it can be developed much sooner and then you can move forward a step at a time. When people wonder when's the best time to do something, I honestly believe now. Procrastination takes away our most valuable resource, time.
The present is the most important. You can have all the best ideas but, unless you take action now, those ideas will remain ideas. Now is the best time to do anything and all it requires is you getting up to do it. When we can take advantage of our present, we are making use of time to pursue what truly matters to us.
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Exclusion
Exclusion is basically barring someone from a place or a group. I will be tying this to anxiety and depression. To use my own experience, I will refer to the time when I was livestreaming regularly. I was just talking about anxiety and focusing heavily on the time when I was suicidal. I was just discussing my thoughts on the matter regarding my mental state at the time.
Two people showed up in chat and these were basically the two things they brought up. First, they called me an attention seeker. They claimed I'm using anxiety to attract viewers and use drama to get the attention I need. Secondly, they literally told me to kill myself since it would make it easier for me. They suggested that it would be all over if I just ended my life.
These responses saddened me greatly. Mental illnesses aren't taken seriously and many people see these call for help as attention seeking. I'm one of the fortunate ones to have failed but there are people out there who haven't. Yet, their stories would never be known since they are essentially unknown in society, possibly just another number in a stat few people care about.
Words can hurt people more than most believe they can. I managed to develop thick skin for these as, being my biggest critic, I had said much worse things. As a result, these people must be more original if they want to get a laugh out of me. With these people out on social media and various parts of internet, people either remain silent or seek help by going to forums where they wouldn't be judged.
Being part of a few forums and some social media, I learned that my experience wasn't unique. People with anxiety and depression are made fun of and aren't taken serious of. A common thing men suffering mental illness hear is to man up. If this was so easy, mental illness wouldn't be such a serious issue. Yet, the stigma we face with mental illness means this keeps happening.
These sort of actions create these barriers where those suffering from real issues feel like they don't belong. It's another form of exclusion where we feel like we aren't normal and don't belong to the society we're in. To avoid this exclusion, we often remain silent because we don't want to be seen as different. Many of us even go long lengths to change ourselves in order to fit it and avoid this exclusion.
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Exclusion generally happens when a group sees someone who is too different and don't want this person. In a society where mental illnesses isn't very understood, those of us suffering from mental illness feel like we don't belong. Even talking about the issue results in a number of unfavorable situations like being called attention seeker so our call for help goes unnoticed.
Human beings want to find a place where they belong. They are social animals who are afraid of being alone. This could be due to our ancestors where, due to many dangerous predators, there is strength in numbers. Nowadays, going alone doesn't have the same consequences as in the past but it's difficulty to overcome what has basically been part of our instincts.
Many of us, facing the prospect of exclusion and loneliness due to our mental illnesses, usually take two paths. First, we choose the path of silence where we don't discuss our issues. We bottle it up inside of us hoping others cannot see it so they won't notice it. Sadly, bottling up the negative thoughts and emotions lets them eat us from within until there's nothing left.
Secondly, we change who we are. We change how we act, how we dress, how we look and anything that could improve our chance of fitting into a group. We put on this mask which allows us to fit into groups where we finally feel like we belong somewhere. Yet, there will be moments where our masks have cracks and people will notice. They will then abandon you nonetheless as they had seen the real you andee only accepted the you with the mask on.
Remember that bottling everything up isn't an option. There are others facing similar challenges so you can find them if you look. In addition, you shouldn't change yourself as this doesn't help you. Be yourself and, if you are lonely, go elsewhere. Explore the world and go on journeys that will bring you in contact of people who will be there whenever you need them. We face many challenges in life already so we don't need more by being false to ourselves.
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Exclusion isn't necessarily a bad thing. This happens when you are different which, in our society, is often portrayed as something bad. Different is associated with outcast and someone who isn't part of the norm. Yet, we must look at the successful people in our society today who have found success other people could only dream of but could never hope to achieve.
This makes these successful people different but we don't view this as bad. Therefore, you being excluded means you are destined for greatness. You are different because you are given different tools, thoughts and dreams than other people. What you possess will get you success others people can only dream of. Does your difference still appear so negative now?
Many of the successful people also got scoffed at and excluded in the past. Many of them were excluded as they were seen as too radical and too weird. Instead of letting these hold them down and forcing them to become someone they're not, these people kept going with their ideas and dreams until they achieved a situation where they couldn't care what the critics say.
What's stopping you from finding similar success? You might be excluded and have no friends. Yet, these factors won't stop you from achieving new heights. The lonely road will make you stronger as long as you stay true to your journey following a dream only you can see. The only person who can stop you from completing this journey is you.
Don't see exclusion as something bad. You probably outgrown where you are spending most of your time. These people aren't those you want to befriend. Sure, they want to be your friends when you find success but they will keep their distance during your lows in life. Better accept loneliness as a gift that will make you more than ordinary than stay with people who fear what you are capable of. In addition, the exclusion saves you the trouble from needing to rid these people later on in life.
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Falling Behind
I have personal experience with falling behind where I'm struggling with my studies while the others seem to be doing very well. They are either graduating or close to graduating with jobs lined up. I don't even know when I'll be graduating so you can probably understand why I'm feeling discouraged. As a result, I started making excuses and playing the blame game for why this is happening to me.
After experiencing life, watching videos and learning more about myself, I realized that I haven't really fallen behind. These are just stumbles in life that happens to everyone. However, making excuses and playing the blame game was making me fall behind because these were how I was spending my time. Time, as we all know, is a valuable resource which isn't renewable.
We all have hopes and dreams. To achieve our dreams, we need a certain number of small steps and I'll use a million small steps for this example. Since there are no shortcuts, we cannot take a thousand small steps to reach our dreams. To simplify things, let's say we need hard work and time to make our dream a reality. Everyone can work hard to meet the steps needed.
If I was too busy making excuses and pitying myself, I'm essentially investing no time in the pursuit of my dreams. This is time I won't ever get back which means that, the more time I waste, the less likely I'll be able to reach my dreams. I'm not saying it's impossible but it gets even more difficult the later it gets. Therefore, the wiser approach is to make the best use of my time now and start taking these small steps.
Failing in studies isn't falling behind. Stumbling in our journey is part of life and life was never really a race. We all have different paths to walk so even something like comparing with others is a waste of time. The best use of time is focusing on the road ahead of us, steel ourselves during the challenges and invest every bit of it on the dreams we always had.
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In our society, it seems like we are living a very fast paced life. We also want instant gratification where we don't want to wait for something good to happen. Due to these factors, I can actually see falling behind being a good thing. Instead of racing with others to the destination, we can take a moment to look around our surrounding and admire the beauty of it.
The journey is always more important than destination. The journey also has numerous lessons we need to learn before we can reach newer heights in life. If we rush through the journey, we miss those valuable lessons and later look back wondering what we missed. Since time flows only one way, we won't get to experience the same journey again so we won't have a second chance at obtaining all the skills to tap into our full potential.
It's true that falling behind is tough. We see the backs of other people who are sprinting into the distance to their definition of success. Yet, we will stumble in life and sometimes we don't get back immediately. During this struggle to get up on our feet, we take a moment to get our breath back and a quick glance around made us realized that we missed so much of what life can truly offer us.
Sure, we can gain a lot of information on social media and google. Yet, these can never rival what we can experience in real life. We can easily forget something we read online but the experiences we have stick with us. Even if we cannot recollect the details, the experience will always have a place in our memory and it can be brought out at various moments in our lives.
When I was falling behind, life actually had something planned for me. It allowed me to do a month of door to door sales. This changes my life and taught me more about life than all of the school I've taken up to that point which is closing in on fifteen years. Therefore, falling behind is just a way life tells us that we have other paths to take. If we are daring enough to take advantage of the opportunities, we will find ourselves surpassing the other people in no time.
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Purpose
We all want to believe we have a purpose in life. We are here for a reason and something great is waiting for us to accomplish. We usually think about our purpose when we experience the lowest point of our life. When I was depressed and suicidal, I thought and honestly believed that I don't have a purpose in life. The world wouldn't change if I left as though it could go forward without me even existing.
I even had the belief that the world would be a better place without me using up resources. I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences when they face anxiety and depression. They wonder why they are existing on this world. However, I now believe that everyone have a purpose. People have great potential and possess a gift that would enable them to do the seemingly impossible.
The main issue with this purpose and gift is that we struggle to discover it. Things like education can bar us from discovering our true purpose. Let's use our schools as an example. Schools teach us to not make mistakes, get good grade until we get a diploma or degree and work until we retire. Society makes it so any path that doesn't follow education is seen as foolish.
As a result, many people don't unlock their potential. These people might do well at school but there is something they could do better. When we are told that school is the only way for success, we become too terrified to do something different that's out of our comfort zone. Now, there are people who do find success after going to school and doing what society praise as the norm. Yet, this isn't the path for everyone.
Regardless of whether we feel down or happy, we must find our purpose. Once we find it, we will know what we excel at. Things we can do better than other people. Things other might believe is impossible but, since this is a gift we are given, we can accomplish and change the world to make it a better place!
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We all want to find our purpose but we wonder how we can do so. One method that usually doesn't work is searching on the internet for answers. There might be a lot of information on the internet but it's just so easy for us to experience information overload. We also become overwhelmed as we see so many opportunities out there. We start dreaming about what we can do and dreams don't come true by dreaming alone.
I believe people must see more of the world if they want to find their purpose. If you lack the budget to see other parts of the world or another part of your country, you should explore you own city or town. There are rich histories that probably isn't well known. Go to a library and look at older newspapers to see what sort of secrets are hidden from much of the public.
Doing something out of your comfort zone is another method. If you haven't found your purpose from your immediate environment, it might not be available from where you are at. Be bold and, when you succeed, you build more confidence. Too often, people lack confidence to pursue their dreams even when they know this dream is what's needed to make them happy. Start building confidence so that, when you discover your dream, you can pursue it without hesitation.
Therefore, you shouldn't always remain indoors when there's so much to see outdoors. Don't always sit in front of your computer unless your purpose and dream involves game designing or software programmer or anything requiring a computer. We don't experience by reading things on a monitor. We only experience by doing something, talking to people and making mistakes that teach us valuable lessons. Go out there and know that opportunities and special people are there waiting to meet you.
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We define purpose differently and here's how I define it. There are a few requirements before you know you found your purpose. First, a purpose is tough and doesn't become a reality until time and effort had been invested into it. We all know the saying of easy come easy go. The same applies to purpose where, if you lower the bar and it comes true very quickly, you began to wonder if there's more to life.
Secondly, a purpose must be something you enjoy and are passionate about. It must be something you truly believe in and no one could convince you otherwise. If this isn't the case, then you will likely give up when the going gets tough. If life taught us anything, it's that things don't normally go our way and our resolve and determination are tested often. You shouldn't be dissuaded from your purpose ever regardless of the situation.
Thirdly, our purpose should affect a lot more people. We see people with goals like being rich so they can afford all the bells and whistles. There's a lot more to life than wealth. If you can do something that helps other people like getting them out of poverty or give them hope during their darkest moments, you will find those moments much more fulfilling than having more money than you know how to spend.
Purpose also doesn't have to be something incredible. Our society portray people who found their purpose as those millionaires or billionaires or people who are fighting things like poverty. Yet, purpose doesn't have to be at such an enormous scale. It could be something small but impactful. One example I can think of is creating a stronger community where you live.
There are communities out there where people don't necessarily know their neighbors. Other than exchanges of a few greetings, neighbors don't interact with one another. Someone could change that by ways like organizing a barbecue and inviting all the neighbors. You are letting them know one another more and create stronger bonds. This results in a stronger community where people will support each other during the tough moments in life.
Now, this won't show up in the news or be well-known across the world but it can be impactful. We shouldn't underestimate how small gestures can change the world. A better community see people more positive and positivity can spread further at workplaces or other locations outside the community. If we have a million of these small changes, we can see a larger impact on the world as a whole. Remember that our purpose might not make us famous but it can improve the world in ways we cannot imagine!
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Sleep
Sleep is sort of a weird topic but I can see it tie closely with success, purpose and how we live our lives. There are many people who watch motivational videos like me and we no doubt come across some videos where the speaker tell us that we should sacrifice sleep for a dream. They say that, if it's big enough of a dream, we should put more time and effort into it.
I personally can run off five to six hours of sleep a day where I remain somewhat productive. There are definitely people out there who can run on less sleep. For me, I don't see myself able to function with less sleep than five hours. I just start dozing off as my body complains and no amount of willpower, at least none I have discovered, can get me to overcome dozing off.
I believe that, at the very least, we should try to avoid oversleeping. During the weekends, we might be tempted to remain in bed, especially during the dark winter days where it's warmer in bed. However, the extra sleep doesn't necessarily help us. I find myself becoming more drowsy when I oversleep and don't even feel rested. Therefore, we don't need to sleep in as seven to eight hours is about the most we need. Anymore and we will be cutting into time we can use to pursue other things in life.
Now, we must find a balance between sleep and work. When we are young, we can stay up late studying for exams. If we do this regularly and even later when we are working, we get into a habit that will affect our physical health. When we get older, we'll develop various problems because we didn't take better care of ourselves when we were younger. After all, we feel invincible when we are younger.
The reason why we sought out our purpose and pursue our dreams is to achieve happiness. Yet, we cannot find happiness when we are sick all the time. How positive can we be when we have a terrible headache and struggling to recover? If you can push yourself when you are young, you should do so. Yet, keep in mind that the body shouldn't be neglected. We shouldn't be so focused on making our dream come sooner that we lose sight of how we still need our bodies to enjoy the bright future we create for ourselves.
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Motivation
Here I want to talk about my thoughts on motivation including their pros and cons. Yes, there are cons for motivation but I will be covering that for a later entry. Motivation is generally the drive or passion people have which sees them start or continue doing a certain task regardless of how difficulty it made be. If we ask a lot of people why they aren't pursuing their dreams or why they aren't changing certain habits, chances are they will answer that they lack motivation.
Motivation comes in many forms and I'll be discuss one of them for this entry. Let's use the scenario of someone who had gone to school, got a degree and have been working at a job for ten years. He or she might suddenly wonder if there's more to his or her life. Essentially, life seems mundane and not necessarily what these people had in mind. It's also quite possible that they thought back to the dreams they had in the past like singer, writer and game developer to name a few examples.
What happens is these people desire more in life whether it's a better job to afford more stuff or more exciting life. This motivates them to change what's happening in their life and habits or ideas could be changed. Maybe a change in budget sees more saved up for vacations or trying out new hobbies when the person normally sits in front of a television. The desire gets the person to change because he or she doesn't want everything to be practically the same every single day.
We all know that, often, starting something is the most difficult. We all have great ideas but we often need a good reason to do it. Sometimes, we wait for encouragements from other people. Other times, we need something to happen in our lives. In the scenario above, it's the fact that nothing is happening in our lives that makes us want to do something about it. The motivation simply gives us the reason to do and, for some people, that's all they needed. A push in the right direction and they would do the rest.
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Motivation is also great when we are already pursuing our dreams. In the early stages, we will encounter difficulties which is normal in life. We, after all, don't find success instantly. Even the small victories we need won't show up until we have been pursuing a dream for awhile. I will be using a business as an example for illustrate this.
At the start of a business, there's a good chance that there is very little, if any, revenue. The only customers might be your family members but this isn't how your business will grow. You need to reach out to the wider market and other people to buy. Naturally, you do marketing and advertising to get attentions but, as a new and small business, time is needed before you really find a loyal customer base to make the business grow.
After a few months, your business might be losing money and your family members along with friends suggest you quit and cut your losses. This is one of the tougher moments regardless of what your dream is. You had all this drive to start your dream but it does disappear after awhile. This is when we are tested in how determined we are to make our dreams come true and this is also when motivation can be quite helpful.
Before any victories, we will be discouraged by the lack of success. Motivation can help by rekindling the fire we had when we first started. We all need a few pushes along the way to get back our momentum and not lose hope. Listening to successful person, especially someone who is your role model and have done what you wish to accomplish, is vital in that they will share their experiences, some of which being quite similar to what you are experiencing at the time.
It's not smart to underestimate what motivation can do. They can get you to do something you always wanted but maybe hesitate to do. They can continue fueling the fire inside you so you can persevere and move forward without ever giving up. Yet, motivation do have their cons as they aren't perfect and I'll be discussing those in the upcoming entries.
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We'll be starting with the cons of motivation which seems like rather odd. After all, I did mention how motivation can spark us into doing something or give us the push to keep doing what we started. Know that I'm not saying motivation is bad. I'm just saying that motivation comes in all forms and sizes and isn't always necessarily the only way to find success so we shouldn't rely solely on it.
One of our motivation is fear. People afraid of losing job or being homeless will be motivated by fear. It's not great motivation but it's motivation nonetheless. There are a few issues with fear being your motivation. First, it's never a good idea to stress out about life all the time. We have all been there where we have some exam and we stress out on whether we did well or not. This is not a healthy lifestyle at all.
Secondly, fear is only motivating us when it's there. We no longer found the drive to keep going when the fear is gone. Let's say you work at a company and heard news of possible downsizing. Fearing you might be one of those people to be let go, you decided to work extra hard and your performance improves dramatically. The downsizing then happens and you keep your job. No longer fearing the loss of a job, you stopped working hard and go back to your old routines. It's quite possible that, if you kept working hard, you would have moved up the company much faster.
Another sort of motivations can be illustrated with the example of a guy wanting a girl but the girl doesn't want an overweight guy. Therefore, he went to the gym daily and dropped a lot of weight until he got the girl's hand. Now that he got the girl as his wife, what's motivating him to keep going to the gym? Therefore, there are motivations that are terrible and aren't worth the trouble. When we are driven by fear or goals that are short term, we are only temporarily motivated before we return to our mediocre self.
Motivation can be great but we must be very careful with what motivation we use. Temporary motivation won't get us anywhere since anything great or meaningful takes time. Fear is also something we don't want running our lives. We must focus on what's important and not let negative emotions control us or our every single day would be miserable as we never see the positives of our future.
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Another con for motivation is the reliance of people on it. When these people are asked why they aren't pursuing their dreams or do something they know is good for them, they respond by saying they don't feel like it or feel inspired enough to do it. Things, unfortunately, don't go that way since we generally have as many lows and the highs in our lives. I was definitely like that when I was depressed as I never felt like do anything other than stay in my room and do nothing. No bit of motivation could've changed that.
As someone who watches motivational videos quite often, I can say from my experience that these videos are very powerful. Yet, one issue I've noticed is how they only work temporarily. In other words, the inspiration and motivation might last an hour or so before they dissipate. The words felt more like a brief inject of "drug" to make me feel great. Motivation appear to be a temporary measure but it shouldn't be the dominant force for why you are doing something.
We must always figure out why we are doing a certain action or pursuing a certain dream. If people are doing certain actions due to motivation they got from a certain talk or video, they will likely give up the moment the motivation wears off. Motivation is there to spark something inside us and/or make the fire brighter if it's already lit. Yet, we cannot expect it to maintain the fire for the entire duration of a dream that takes years, if not decades, to come true.
As for this why, we need focus on more than ourselves. For instance, we might want to accomplish a certain goal to make our life easier. When the journey to reach this goal becomes tough, we might not see this as worth it so we give it up. When we are doing this to help other people, there's some strange strength that we acquire. There might be something you can relate to those people so something is triggered within you to keep going. When more than ourselves are at stake, we are more likely to persevere.
Don't be too reliant on motivation. We cannot always feel like it so we must push ourselves and discipline ourselves to do a certain task regardless how we feel. Life is filled with ups and downs so those who succeed are those who kept chasing their dreams during their downs as well. In the end, what truly motivates us isn't what other people can say. It's really what we feel about a certain dream and the why we justify for our dream in the first place.
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I'll be focusing solely on motivational videos this entry. I myself watch a fair bit of motivational videos and will be discussing the cons on what I've watched. What makes videos so powerful is that we have pictures and clips that go along with the audio. With the right combination, these videos can essentially change lives which is naturally the goal of these videos.
There are videos where we have multiple speakers and the clips shows the speakers their respective accomplishments. For an athlete, this might be a moment when the person competes in the Olympics and broke a world record. Essentially, we are seeing the highlight reel of a person as they reached the peak of their career and their dreams became a reality.
My main issue is that this seems very motivating. We feel pumped watching these highlight reel and find some fire burning inside us. Yet, these videos can accomplish the opposite. Let's use the scenario of person wanting to be a professional athlete. He or she got pumped from watching the video and headed into practice the next day. There's a possibility that, after a poor performance at practice, this person feels discouraged and wondered if he or she could achieve the next level.
I personally feel these videos would be a lot more powerful without showing the success of the people. We have enough exposure with news outlets and magazine. Instead, the videos should focus on the training regime. What most people must understand is that much of the work is done outside of the competition. These professionals work harder than other people and, even when they reached their peak, they disciplined themselves to continue working hard.
People nowadays don't need to see what success is. Instead, they need to see what is needed to get to that success. Maybe a clip of an athlete's daily training regime could be enough to tell our youths what they have to do to find success. People got to see what happens behind the scene because they would otherwise get the impression that success can be reached easily as showcased by the video. They get distracted by what was shown and don't necessary hear what was being said.
As a content creator, I know it's not easy to make those videos. I commend those people who make motivational videos but that doesn't meant they all accomplish the goal they aim for. We must get through to people how perseverance and hard work are needed for success. With videos being such powerful tools, we can do exactly that if we don't create illusions that fool people, especially many of our young people who have yet to experience things in real life.
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Change
Change will always happen in our lives regardless if we want it or not. We might move to a new country or a new technology has been introduced changing the ways of how we live. Maybe a new member enter the family like a new baby or an adopted child. With change, we must learn to adapt to it to continue thriving in our environment and minimize the negative impact of change.
With school not going well along with other things in my life not optimal, I'm also in the process of adapting to change. These changes were largely things I didn't want happening to me at the time and, as a result, I get really stressed out and anxious. The biggest thing I'm working on is my mindset which I learned is so vital in these sort of situations.
A lot of people can working on their mindset like me. It's something that seems insignificant but it can be such a large impact on our lives without changing anything else. Essentially, we need to adjust our mindset to accept the changes and be open-minded. Since change is unavoidable, we must make the best of it and, from what appears as chaos, find what we need to get further ahead in life. In the process, we also learn a bit about ourselves to better know our strengths.
Many people are, unfortunately, afraid of change. It's an interesting perspective where people like me with unfavorable situations want change while those with acceptable lives reject change. What we must remember is that change helps us grow, mature and find opportunities that had never existed before. When people fight change, they will find themselves struggling. For instance, those who couldn't embrace internet when it was picking up soon found themselves replaced in the job market by those who took advantage of the change.
The world is constantly changing without us doing anything. We can stay in our room and just do our hobbies but the changes will still come. Change isn't a bad thing and is more of something that's natural in this world of ours. It's normal to fear it but rejecting it outright without giving it a chance usually ends poorly.
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There are lots of changes we have no control over. Let's use the scenario of a morning where we wake up, eat breakfast and drive to work. For a specific day, there was a car accident on the route you normally take and traffic gets congested as a result. Then, you are pretty much guaranteed to be late for work and here is where mindset can play a role.
If you choose a negative mindset, you'll likely curse and be very frustrated with the development. Of course, this negative attitude doesn't end there. You'll be asked by your boss why you are late. When we are negative, we aren't in the best mood and that shows when we talk. The boss wasn't too happy about us being late already so our negative attitude likely makes it worse.
The boss, with a negative mood as a result, decides to make our life more difficult by being more picky on our mistakes. The day at work would be ruined but it wouldn't end there. We'd return home only to spread the negativity to our family which can cause fights and arguments. Overall, a day that started poorly just kept going downhill until it's just plainly a horrible day.
Conversely, we can be positive about the situation by accepting we will be late and think of ways to make up for it. We sincerely apologize to our boss and work harder/smarter to make up for the time. This would make a good impression on our boss who wouldn't be as hard on us the next time we're late. Given how things tend to happen often, there's a good chance we'll be late again in another situation we cannot control over.
Day at work went well and we returned home where, being in a more positive mood, we can communicate with family members properly without sparking conflicts. We would also be more likely to listen about their day when we aren't negative and this could help improve their day. With a positive attitude, the poor start was the only low point of the day and the rest of the day would be more than merely salvaged.
In our lives, we will encounter changes everyday and some might be in unimaginable ways. Yet, we can dictate how we decide on it. With a positive mindset, we can turn any day to a good day despite what sort of start we had. If we can maintain good days throughout the year, then we'd have a good year. Keep this up for a few decade and we'd have a much better life than many other people.
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I wish to talk about people fearing and resisting change in this entry. The main factor is the uncertainty involved when change happens. People like to have control of what's going to happen, how it's going to happen and, in an unfavorable situation, be in complete control during the damage control. This is difficult when a lot of changes happen when we least expect it.
Change brings a lot of unknown variables into a situation. Most people had situations where they made a plan and it went perfectly. This is always a great feeling where we felt we are in control and things go exactly the way we want it to. Change, however, makes our plans irrelevant. I was planning on finishing school to get a good job but change saw me failing courses and failing to get any internships.
When we thought we had life figured out, change arrives when we least expects it and sends us back to the drawing board. This bit of uncertainty is why people fear it. It's a bit like us playing a horror game where we enter a new area. Due to the atmosphere, we are worried and fearful despite not seeing any immediate threat in front of us. Our imagination create these horrors that may or may not be in the game.
What happens to us in real life is our minds generate things regarding uncertainty. We cannot see that far ahead and mindset plays a big role here as well. If we are negative, we think up all the worst case scenarios regarding a certain change. There are positive scenarios but our mindsets lets us only see the negative scenarios. Therefore, we do everything in our power to fight and resist change to avoid these worst case scenarios.
People scare themselves and some of these thoughts might be external. They might have heard stories from other people which gave them ideas. We must remember that we won't have control over everything so it's critical we don't create the negative scenarios before even attempting something. In this case, we are essentially delivering a mortal blow to our morale before the fight is even fought.
Don't conjure up anything when you think about the future. Everyone have their own lives and what happens to others won't necessarily happen to you. Simply make the best of your situation and be positive that everything will work out eventually. Then, you will get an average situation in the worst case scenario while you thrive in the best case scenario.
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Change forces us out of our comfort zone. That, alone, make it terrifying and undesirable for people. Comfort zones are the limits we place on ourselves. These limits are there before we even know what we are capable of. Change lets us step outside to see what we are truly capable of. Sure, we eventually find our real limits but we'll discover that these new limits far exceed what we placed on ourselves originally.
I was an introvert who was afraid of talking to strangers. The thought of it was terrifying for me. Yet, a month of door to door sales allowed me to discover the courageous side of me. The limits I put on myself no longer apply since I accomplished what seemed impossible for me. What ends up happening is we get comfortable with something new and, as a result, our comfort zone expands.
For too many people, they aim too low and fail to learn their true limits. They might reach the limits they put on themselves but such a scenario fail to tap into their inner potential. Later in life, these people wondered if they could've accomplish much more. Change makes this irrelevant by forcing you to get out of those limits regardless if you feel ready or not. You have to deal with it and, when you find success, you build confidence knowing you can achieve much more.
Change doesn't let you aim low so you are aiming further and higher. Even if we reach for the stars but never reach them, we'd reach unimaginable heights as a result. The odd thing is that, when we were younger, we don't believe in limits. This could be seen by the things we've done and learned as a kid. I like to use riding a bike as an example here.
When we were young, we try to learn to ride the bike the first time. Sure, we might fall the first few times and cry a little but we always get back up and try again until we succeed. As we grow older, we fear pain and do anything to avoid it. This often sees us unwilling to accept change or try new things. If we had this mentality when we were younger, then we'd quit the first time we fell and would never learn how to ride the bike.
For most adults, biking is something so simple. We went from not knowing how to becoming very comfortable with biking. Our comfort zone expanded to include this so we never even think twice before biking. This is true with other things in life. When we step out of the comfort zone, we aren't staying out of it forever. We are merely practice and learning until we include something new in the comfort zone. This would be the case for the Olympic athletes as well.
They had to push their limits to get to where they're at. Sure, they look so natural in competition but that wasn't always the case. They had injuries and doubt along the way but, with sufficient practice, they turn it into something natural. We can do that for everything when we try something new. It's not easy initially and requires hard work. We might even get hurt in the process but, as long as we try it and keep going, we'll be able to do it with comfort due to the confidence in our abilities.
For many people, change is so vital as they cannot get out of their comfort zone alone. What we are trying to accomplish to to expand the comfort zone to include things we, at one point, thought were difficult. As we keep learning and growing, we develop the skills to do harder tasks with relative ease. Our goal in life is really making incredible feats no different from riding a bike. We do it without hesitation and we never question our abilities.
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Anger
Anger is one of the more powerful emotions we possess and it can be quite destructive. Many people, like me, had moments when we are frustrated and our limits are pushed. We might be doing some task and it isn't going our way so we decide to turn to anger. The thing about anger is that, when it takes over, it takes over us completely.
We are no longer rational when we are angry. We might yell, throw tantrum or even use violence to express our anger. When we are angry, we are most certainly negative. We don't search for a solution or find a positive side to a situation. We generally want to take the situation into our own hands and, if yelling doesn't work, we resort to our fists.
The worst thing about anger is that it usually doesn't dissipate very quickly. It's a dangerous beast where it generally escalates the situation. Your anger can spark anger in other people and those situations get out of hand very quickly. With enough escalation, violence will happen and people will get hurt at the very least.
Another issue with anger is that it's one of the ways we vent out our frustrations. For some people, the venting is such a relief that they might resort to anger to rid the negativity not knowing that they are actually fueling it. Anger doesn't solve the root of the problem and often makes matters worse. For example, there might be talk of divorce between a couple. There could be a chance to resolve the issue but one anger moment transitioning into violence could end all hope.
Anger is a powerful emotion so we don't want it to take over us. We have no control as we become someone completely different. Then, we do things we regret later and, at times, we do things that cannot be salvaged. In life, we generally want to keep our anger under check. There are very few situations where anger is suitable so we must use it with caution.
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Past
The past is history. It has happened and we cannot change it. Therefore, we shouldn't be dwelling or focusing on the past. Why spend so much time on something we cannot change regardless how hard we work at it? The past can be a complicated matter and, for many people, it can be difficult escaping from it.
With the past, we are usually dealing with the regrets and the what ifs. We have regrets due to doing or not doing something. We like to think about what we could've done to change all of that. We post those what ifs wondering if things could've been different with the situation of us picking a different decision at the time. In the end, all of this does nothing but bring us more pain.
Yes, we might have good memory from back then. When I was at the lowest point of my life, I thought about my childhood. I thought about the carefree lifestyle where, outside of school and whatever activities my parents planned for me, I can just have fun. I didn't have any responsibilities and can just focus on having fun the best I can. Those days seems wonderful compared to now.
Yet, I'm not longer a kid anymore. I'm an adult with responsibilities and priorities in life. Comparing the past with the present, I feel pain. I realize I had wasted so much time that I could've used to make my life better. I could've gained new skills to make myself a better resume. Dwelling on the past only emphasizes the terrible present we have now which, as a result, makes us more miserable.
The past is important but we mustn't dwell on it. When we are busy dwelling on it, we cannot focus on the present. We cannot walk forward if we are looking back. Sure, we can learn to walk backwards but, by the time we mastered this ability, we would've lost more time in the process that we won't be getting back.
We can look at our past from time to time but it should never occupy our focus. Life won't wait up for us while we dwell in our history. We must resist the urge and keep pushing forward. The past may call on us but we should cover our ears and walk towards the future. We cannot ever be happy if we cannot move on from our past.
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We still need to look at our past from time to time despite the necessity of not dwelling on it. The past holds many lessons because, in our lives, everything happen for a reason and part of our job is to figure out why it happened to us and not others. We might have regrets like not finishing school, giving up on a dream or not asking a girl out at school.
What we must do is inspect our past to see what happened and why it happened. However, we must make sure not let regrets cause fear in us. If something happened, we shouldn't let it haunt us for the rest of our lives. For example, a bad experience with a girl shouldn't stop us from giving other girls a chance. The lessons we're learning aren't how to run away from things that hurt us.
We need to learn from our mistakes and really figure out why something happened. As much as we want to do it, we mustn't blame others. All of our mistakes are caused by ourselves due to poor judgement or simply lack of experience. We must understand that we will make mistakes in life and shouldn't be ashamed of it. The moment we let these mistakes create fear within ourselves, we'd lose our way forward.
There will be times where revisiting the past is tough. It's never easy going through some of the memories we'd rather leave behind. Don't dwell on it but know that these memories usually have the most to teach us. I had troubles revisiting my suicidal attempt but, by going through it and analyzing it properly, I realized that I was lonely and the silence was what drove me to that decision. This realization is partly why I started doing these journals.
For some of us, we must also defeat the demons from the past. We need to overcome a certain fear or conclude something for good. We need to move on so we can focus on the present and future. When we don't tie up the loose ends, these things can haunt us later in life. Given that we are mortals, we have limited time and it's better invested in the present and future than the future.
Never dwell on the past. Learn the lessons they offer you and move on. Each of these lessons you learn and master will get you further in life. The experience can be painful but, the more pain they cause you, the greater the lesson they can teach you. Don't shy from the pain that's temporary. If you are trapped in the past, then the pain will be permanent until you overcome it.
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Present
Out of the past, present and future, I believe the present is the most important. People generally think future is the most vital and underestimate what present can offer to us. I'll use myself as an example. I started pursuing my dream in hopes of helping those with mental illnesses. When I had the idea, I could've easily dream on it and keep planning until the right moment shows up.
Instead, I decided to act and dive in head first. Yes, I am inexperienced and have much to learn. Yet, I'm taking the first step which seems so difficulty for so many people. Now, this dream, like so many others, is called a dream because it seems so impossible that accomplishing would still appear like a dream. As a result, something this big takes time and I should start now so it can become a reality sooner rather than later.
Why not now? People keep dreaming and thinking when they hesitate to start now. The present is something we have direct control over. We cannot control our past and we have indirect control over the future. The present is when changes happen and, with the right changes, we can chart a much brighter future than the one we saw before.
Changes also don't happen overnight. Habits, especially the good ones, take time to develop. If you start your change now, then it can be developed much sooner and then you can move forward a step at a time. When people wonder when's the best time to do something, I honestly believe now. Procrastination takes away our most valuable resource, time.
The present is the most important. You can have all the best ideas but, unless you take action now, those ideas will remain ideas. Now is the best time to do anything and all it requires is you getting up to do it. When we can take advantage of our present, we are making use of time to pursue what truly matters to us.
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