The following are the modified version of what was discussed on the Rick's Journal videos.
Future
The future is important as it's the destination I talked about. While I did say that journey is more important than destination, we cannot really have a journey without one. Maybe you and a friend decided to go somewhere on a day off but neither of you have an idea where. Therefore, you two wander aimlessly and, if you're lucky, you might arrive some place that gives you an enjoyable experience. Otherwise, you'd waste that day with hardly anything done other than a lengthy car ride.
Regardless of what your journey might be, you must first determine your destination. The further you set the destination, the longer and the more rewarding the journey will be. What's great about setting the destination is you have a lot of freedom regarding when you want to reach it. This could be tomorrow, next week, next month, etc....
As you are picking the when, you might be tempted to choose a realistic timeline. I honestly believe that it never hurts to push the boundaries. Take a bit more risk and aim higher. For a business, this might be getting more products done than what was anticipated without the quality suffering. As we push this boundary, we are actually pushing ourselves to be better and better. As long as we keep improving, we'll be able to reach newer heights.
The future also contains many surprises, some good and some bad. Know that those good surprises could change your life forever. You might find a great friend or find that other half you've been searching for. You might also encounter a person who will play a big role in getting you closer to making your dream a reality. The incredible thing about life is you never know how an encounter could change your life. It either makes it better or teaches you a valuable lesson you won't ever forget.
People without a destination often wonder if there's more to life. That's why you must have something you want. We all have things we desire but it's up to us to work for it. The future will be in the present for a split second before it becomes the past. Therefore, you must prepare so that, when it arrives, you can take advantage of it. Maintain a positive mindset and you'll get more during the journey that is basically preparing you for the future you have envisioned.
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There are two "cons" regarding the future. The first con sees people who fear the future and its uncertainty. They might have heard certain things on the news like the predictions of the economy crashing. These things make people take what they believe is the safe and conservative path which often sees them giving up on their dreams or doing things that eliminates all the progress they made towards their dream.
People should never let fear govern their actions because they more than likely pick choices they'd regret later. While you don't know what will happen, the uncertainty also allows you to write out your future. They essentially provide you with blank pages which you can fill in with what you want. When fear is controlling you, other people will fill in those pages and naturally those people don't know what's best for you.
The second con is people dreaming and planning all their lives but never actually take action. For instance, a person wanting to be a professional singer might often dream about a large stage with numerous loyal fans cheering for him or her. This person probably had goals for each year planned out which is solid. However, this person made the mistake of focusing too much time on dreaming and planning while not putting close to enough time in putting everything into action.
I learned in life that most of our plans won't go according to plan so we need to adapt. Regardless how many contingency plans we have in place, life have surprises we would never see coming. Having a destination is good. So is have a rough plan on how you'll get there. Just remember that the details for the plans will change as you move forward and adapt properly.
We don't need to worry about how we would make a dream come true. Take the first step that so many people are afraid to take. Once you're on this journey, you will find the how along the way. I didn't know how to turn my life around until I did door to door sales. This was probably the last thing I expected but it has taught me what I had to do next. For everyone else, there are ways life teaches us the how as long as we go on the journey leading to our dream.
The future is great when we have goals and dreams. Simply remember that dreams isn't enough. We must put in work and action to make dreams come dream. The present is when we take action while our future is what gives us a general direction. Meanwhile, the past contains the lessons we must learn to move closer to that future we always wanted.
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Pain
Pain comes in many forms and sizes. Some are physical pain and others are mental pain. More often than not, you can go to doctor regarding a physical pain and determine what's causing it. For mental pain, it's usually tougher and, sadly, fewer are willing to see doctors due to the stigma we have towards mental illnesses.
People have different ways to dealing with ways and some are just horrible approaches. These approaches causes more problems where facing problems head on yields much better results. One of these approaches is denial where people deny there was anything wrong and/or the pain doesn't actually exist. Such denial can only do so much to keep the pain at bay. I like to see this as erecting a wall that has cracks forming. It stops the pain initially but, as time passes, the cracks grow bigger and the pain returns.
The denial makes you refusing to see a problem exist whether it's physical or mental. This actually makes you vulnerable since, when we don't see problems, we don't seek solutions. For example, someone might feel some minor pain and assumed they were just tired. A few years later, they discovered they had cancer which could've been taken care of with ease when they first felt the pain. We underestimate what something can do until it's so big we can no longer ignore it.
When we don't see the problems, we won't ever find solution and others cannot help you either. When we are dealing with mental illnesses, that's a challenge we face. We don't know who to turn to but, by keeping the problems within us, it eats us from within. Our primal part of our brain teaches us to avoid pain. This was a great approach when we are fleeing from predators. Given how complicated our brains are, fleeing isn't the best solution anymore.
Denial, basically a form of fleeing, won't stop the pain. It can buy us time so we can better prepare for it but that's about it. Know the many problems had to be dealt head on or the pain will haunt us the rest of our lives. We shouldn't pay a greater price simply due to our reluctance to deal with a problem when it was still manageable.
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Another way people deal with pain is distraction. Many people believe that, if they are distracted, the pain wouldn't be as bad. These distractions come in many different forms. One example might be a failed relationship forced a person to work extra hours. Since this person is so busy working, he or she wouldn't have time to let his or her mind wander to the relationship that had ended in failure.
Another distraction could be drugs. We all know drugs are terrible but, for some people, they feel their pain is so bad that the consequences of taking drugs is minor compared to what they're dealing with. They also have the belief they can stop taking drugs when the pain is gone. To them, drugs are a temporary solution which they could end whenever they want.
The third distraction I want to mention is food. For many of us, we have our comfort food which aren't always necessarily healthy food. Despite knowing this, eating these food helps make us at ease and can keep the pain at bay, even momentarily. Whenever the pain returns, people can get into the habit of returning to eating to keep it at bay longer.
All three forms of distractions mentioned above all have negative outcomes as a result. Working extra means your body gets less rest, especially when you are pushing yourself to exhaustion to not let your mind wander to the pain. We can handle these sort of workload when we are young but our body suffers and we'll see the consequences later in life when our body complains.
Drugs are dangerous due to how destructive they are. They can destroy so many lives and willpower alone isn't normally enough to quit them. For those we resort to drugs, they are playing a dangerous game where they are trading the pain for something that's far worse. As for food, obesity leads to heart problems and other health issues so this isn't any better.
Denial and distractions don't help as neither approach really aims to resolve the issue at the root. One is refusing to acknowledge there's a problem while the other is running away from it. I believe that tackling pain, no matter how much it hurts and how much we fear it, is the best approach. I'll discuss this in the next entry.
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Running from pain isn't the solution and the only way to overcome it to face it head on. This approach isn't easy but it's necessary if we hope to leave it in the past and move towards the future. After all, running only lets the pain haunt you from time to time while it's never really gone. Constantly feeling pain is certainly not a way we want as we progress through life.
Pain reminds us of things and teaches us a lesson. When we were kids and get burned on the stove, we learn not to touch it when it's hot. Pain at times is the best way we can learn valuable lessons we need to make progress in life. Pain never happens without a reason so we need to figure out why it's there. When we figure it out, then we use this bit of knowledge to understand what we can obtain from it.
Pain can tell us that we made poor friends or got into a bad relationship. We will make mistakes in life and many of these mistakes will cause pain. Some pain are temporary and will go away on their own while other pain will remain until you deal with it. The latter is what's often holding people back as they cannot let go of a past thinking that letting go would make the pain worse.
In our lives, pain is very much like failure. Nobody wants it but it's necessary in our lives. If we are too busy trying to avoid all pain, we'd never have anything accomplished in life. We'd let fear grip us so fully that we lost control of our lives. When pain does come into our lives, there are various responses which includes suicide. It's our response that determines how our future would be shaped up.
To tap into our full potential, we must accept that pain and failure will happen. They are there to make us tougher so we'd be ready for bigger challenges in life. We learned how to ride a bike this way so we most certainly can accomplish anything when we are older, wiser and stronger. Remember that the greatest people in history had to endure the greatest pain. Therefore, you are meant for greatness if you are suffering incredible amount of pain!
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Sharing
From a very young age, we were taught to share with classmates and friends. Somewhere along the way, some of us changed. I know I changed where I don't want to share and would rather keep everything to myself. I never figured out why but I don't even want other people touching my stuff and became much more selfish.
This situation was worsened when I wanted more stuff. When I was a kid, my parents weren't wealthy at all so I often watch with envy as other kids have lots of things that I have none of. Essentially, I wanted to keep all that I had and wanted more for myself. Looking back, I feel ashamed of this mentality after what I experienced recently in life as an adult.
The more selfish and self centered I am, the less I'm willing to share whether it's laughter or money. As a result, I was never really happy since I lost track what truly mattered. After all, we gain things by giving and sharing is the first step towards giving. When I refuse to share, I, while didn't realizing at the time, was going down a spiral where, no matter how much I got, I won't ever be happy or fulfilled.
After experiencing the lowest points of my life, I learned there's more than just wanting more. For my channel, I just wanted to share my stories. Despite it being ordinary stories with failures many people experience, I hope this could give people hope and courage when they are facing their own struggles in life. When we can change lives by sharing, we get things that no amount of money can buy. After all, we learn we are living more than just ourselves by touching other people's lives.
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Sharing is so important and we need to teach kids when they were young. Classic example of sharing that comes to mind is two kids with a single toy. Sharing will see both kids getting a chance to play with the toy but neither of them will have sole control. Essentially, the kids must learn to compromise since only one toy is available for both of them.
The kids learn that they must make sacrifices in the process which is roughly how the world works. We cannot get all the good stuff and compromises have to be made. Two parties might have to work together to both benefit from the cooperation. We might get less than we wanted but we get something rather than failing by ourselves and gain nothing at all.
We have all seen selfish and self-centered people in our lives. They want everything to themselves thinking that the world owes them. How willing are you to become these people's friend? Quite unlikely since such a one-sided situation is nothing people want to be in. At the very least, people want friends who will have their back when required. You won't get any of that from a selfish person.
If a person, from a young age, was spoiled by parents, then he/she will expect to get anything he/she desires. The real world, sadly, doesn't work that way. The issues lies in that, as a person get older, it much harder to learn how to share. Changing these sorts of mentality isn't easy for adults and, the longer a person delays, the worse it gets for the person's life. After all, life does have to teach some of us the hard way if we don't learn early on.
Something else gained from sharing is learning how to cope with disappointment. If people learn to compromise, they learn that they cannot have everything to themselves. Sacrifices had to be made so both sides can benefit. This can lead to some disappointment since a person might want the whole thing. If kids were taught at a young age that disappointments will happen and can respond maturely, they will get through life much easier.
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I'll be focusing on the workplace of nowadays. We are busy competing with our peers to get promotions and raises. Oftentimes, this competitiveness blinds people and makes them less willing to share. A person might have great ideas but, in order to obtain an edge that could give a person a better chance for promotion, he or she will keep it to themselves.
At the workplace, there are two types of people who get promoted (note this is very generalized). One type is a person who knows how get on the good side of his or her superiors. This person compliments the boss and do the "right" things to make the boss like him or her more. When a promotion comes up, this person will be considered due to the personal preference of the boss.
The second type is a leader. A person who has the skills to thrive in a higher position and can bring many positive changes to a company. For a good company, the leaders are picked for the management due to merit. One thing leaders do differently is they share their knowledge. Some people might scoff at this action which seems to be ruining their chances of moving up the corporate ladder.
A leader wants more than just themselves thriving. They want the company to thrive because they believe in what the company is offering. By sharing knowledge, these leaders are mentoring the people below them so one day those people will rise up and take over. Mentors are so vital in companies since they are the people who ensure if a company just survives or thrives.
Something great about leaders is that they have nothing to fear. If they lose their job, they can go elsewhere with confidence in their skills. Sometimes, they might even start their own business and competes with their old workplace. When you are a leader, you don't fear anything. You have everything you need to thrive in this world.
These leaders are different because they put more emphasis on sharing and cooperation. Competitiveness can be good but our society has very much neglected cooperation. When you share so everyone in a group benefits, you have a strong team who can multiply success many folds. If you are competitive and everyone is for him/herself, then the group's efficiency falls and only a few successes can be found.
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Journey
Life is a journey where we have a starting point and an ending point. Those two points are the only things we are certain about life, though the when of the end point remains unknown to us. These journeys are rarely straight lines since they contain many surprises and numerous turns. Regardless of how these journeys are shaped, we will see the beauty and ugliness of our world.
Now, we cannot have much of a journey without having a destination. Can you imagine going anywhere without a destination in mind? This is one of the biggest challenges in life and people, as a result, tend to have very vague destinations regarding their life. For example, they might want more money and more love which, while decent destinations, are so vague that they don't specify what they want exactly.
The destinations in life can be vague when you first started but you will need to focus to a single point eventually. Otherwise, you are just traveling aimlessly in a large territory and only dumb luck can get you what you truly want. A vague destination is fine when we were kids. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said doctor. I was way off point after what I experienced!
Our society expect our eighteen year olds to know what they want to do. This is just too early. Graduating from secondary school should see young adults seeing more of the world or more of the city they live in. There nothing that can replace wisdom which could get people further ahead. Sure, there are lots of information on the internet but information doesn't bring wisdom. Experiences does!
Before deciding on what we want to do, we must see more of the world and experience more of what it can offer. During these experiences, we must learn two things in life. First, we must discover what this world has to offer. Technological advances bring more opportunities and make some traditional careers disappear. Secondly, we must learn more about ourselves so we know what destination suits us best.
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We need a destination to have a journey. The destination can be vague initially but we have to narrow it down eventually to know where we're headed. One of the things we need to determine our destination is being informed of what this world has to offer. The world is constantly changing and, as a result, we must adapt to better thrive in the new environment.
When I was in elementary school, there might be a computer lab if we were lucky. Personal computers were only just picking up and life was quite different back then. Nowadays, we have smart phones that possess more computing power than the computers back then. These technological advances will happen since we, as humans, want to move forward in progress.
These changes are unavoidable so we must learn how they can benefit us. With new technology, some jobs that were popular back then might be disappearing nowadays. We all know about automation that sees some company hiring a lot less workers since machines and robots could do the same work at a lower cost. These opportunities would, as a result, take a pretty drastic change.
What we must do is better inform ourselves of these changes. I'm not saying you cannot pursue opportunities with more competitiveness. You need to be informed to know what you are getting into and, if you have enough passion, you still should do it. Remember that, when you enjoy what you're doing, it's only a matter of time before you rise above all of your competition.
When determining our destination, the information we gather will affect it. I'm not saying that we should pick the easier opportunities when a tougher one seems more enticing. Listen to your gut when you pick your destination and just go do it. When you are young, it's fine to have a rough idea of where you're headed. As you get older, you need to be more specific or you'll wander aimlessly in life.
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To find our destination, we must know who we are. This might sound a little awkward but, for most of us, we don't really know who we are. Society and our family members have expectations for us. Since a young age, we want to please other people and, to do that, we must do what they want to see. This isn't necessarily what we want but we are too afraid to do otherwise.
Doing well at school gets us praise which makes us feel good. Since we like this feeling, we want to keep doing well so we can continue getting such praises. By doing so, we are making other people happy like our teachers and relatives. The real question is whether or not we are happy ourselves. Does meeting other people's expectations bring happiness to us?
We had our own dreams like singers and writers that encounter lots of resistance from our family members. In addition, some of us not only don't thrive in school but also get destroyed by it. If a student is struggling due to the teaching methods, he or she doesn't know that and thinks he or she is dumb. This lowers self-esteem that has profound impact on his or her future.
The main reason why we go to school is to pursue a certain degree or diploma. Getting a piece of paper can take awhile and this time could be used elsewhere. Therefore, it's vital for the young people to know themselves better before they make such an important choice. Not only will they not get the time back but, as they age, learning becomes tougher.
Learning who we are ties in with seeing more of the world. There are beauty and ugliness in this world and seeing things with different perspective helps us by offering more choices. Too many choices can be a bad thing so knowing who we are narrows down the choices. We want to work towards our strength which excels in some fields more than other fields.
Once we know who we are and what we truly desire, we can finally decide on our destination. Wandering aimlessly doesn't get you ahead and time isn't going to wait for you. If you destination requires a degree to open doors, go to school so you can get it. If you don't need degrees, pursue your dream so that, when other people are just graduating, you'd already invested a few years in your pursuit of success.
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Let's assume that we have determined our destination like being a business owner or become a professional singer. We might have a destination but this doesn't necessarily mean that our journey has begun. We all, at one point in life, had great dreams of what we wanted to do, especially when we were kids and believe nothing is impossible, but many of us never go through with it.
The issues lies in the lack of courage for most of us regarding starting on this journey. There are many uncertainties and challenges along the way and these terrify us. After all, we only think about a new destination when we aren't happy with our lives. There are things in our lives we'd rather not have so we desire change. The irony lies in that we might be unwilling to experience the change.
When we start on a new journey, we must abandon our old journey. This isn't always a bad thing but people have familiarity with their old journey. The new destination isn't going to happen overnight and might happen years or even decades from now. The terrifying prospect of the new journey makes people, despite how much they hate it, stick with their old journey.
As a gamer, I like to use a game as an example. Let's say we want to play an adventure game and we just finished our character creation. We then have an open world to explore and we can decide where we want to do. Do we hesitate to begin? Do we fear hostile enemies waiting out there? Or do we charge head first ready to tackle any challenges that might come our way?
The character creation is basically us defining ourselves from our old selves. It's through this process that we determine our new destination. We might not charge head first in real life due to the inability to save and reload if anything goes wrong. Yet, we must remember that, the more we hesitate, the less likely we'll reach the destination.
In addition, we go through life exactly like this. Remember the first time you started a job. You weren't confident in your skills and wonder if you can keep working there. After a year, you're like a veteran and what seemed terrifying becomes something you're comfortable with. That's how we go through life. We go from a terrifying experience to something we can do with ease. Take that first step knowing it won't be as terrifying a hundred steps in!
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Let's assume that we have taken our first step on our journey, a feat many failed to take. We might have taken our first step but this doesn't meant things will get easier. In video games, the start of the games are generally easier with the difficulty increasing the further you go. For real life, it works quite differently where you'll found yourself facing many challenges from the very beginning.
We will encounter resistance from family members and critiques from complete strangers. We will face lots of pressure which constantly feeds doubt into us if we let them. The beginning is often very rough and, for many people, this is also where many gave up thinking they cannot do it. It's one thing to get started but another thing altogether to keep going.
You might wonder why people want to experience a journey where the beginning is so rough. Let me use an example of you getting a 98% on a test. You will feel great and your chances of revisiting everything related to the exam is nonexistent. You might be a good student and check what you got wrong but that's about it. This goes for the journey as well where, if you are doing well, you won't change.
Our society has gotten into a mentality that emphasizes we don't change what isn't broken. If things are going along, we don't do anything regarding it and fail to adapt to situations we never saw coming. If a journey begins easy, we'd think we can complete it with ease not knowing that we are ill-prepared for the challenges up ahead. That's why we need a tough start. We have to learn that things won't get easy and we must work hard for every bit of progress.
Now, why can we not start easier and tackle the challenges later? We have more at stake later so we don't want to take the same risks. Let's say you started a company when you're single where failure would only affect you. What if things went well and you got married along with getting kids? Challenges arrive and you feel pressured since there are more people affected by the outcome of how you do with your company.
I don't think any journeys really get easier later on. There might be greater challenges up ahead. The only difference is you. You possess different skill sets and your mastery of them differs. The more you were challenged at the start, the better you can tackle obstacles and you can take calculated risks as opposed to going into the dark hoping you end up where you want to be.
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Last entry, I talked about the challenges we experience at the start of the journey. These aren't there to stop you but, rather, teach you and prepare you for the unexpected challenges up ahead. Let's say you overcame these initial challenges because you found the reason and passion to keep moving forward. While the journey won't get any easier by much, you at least have what it takes to keep moving forward.
When we go on a journey or adventure, we should enjoy it and have fun. We shouldn't be so goal orientated that we miss out on our surroundings. After all, the journey would be a lot more enjoyable if we are having fun. Instead of feeling like we are doing chores or hard work, we do something we love and the goals will be met with ease and you'll achieve them without even noticing.
The journey will show you the beauty of the world and people who you want to become part of your life. That's why we want to go on these journeys. We won't meet them if we are too afraid to leave our comfort zone. Remember that only you can enter your comfort zone so it's a lonely experience if you dare not step out of your comfort zone.
I'll use myself as an example. I started Dwaan because I wanted to help people. The start hasn't been easy as my website and channel have yet to get much attention. I know these are slow processes so I remain patient and keep working away. It's a steady grind where I can only be victorious if I keep going. Knowing that what I'm doing will help people, I have no reason to give up on this dream of mine.
Along the way, I met with people who joined me on podcast. That hasn't been possible lately with real life getting busy but I'm still working away with the social media to get people's attention without spamming. I also got comments, mostly in forums where I do these sort of journals, and I get the impression I'm heading in the right direction. Progress might seem nonexistent but I'm definitely charting the right course.
Of course, I set goals as to what I want to achieve with my website and channel. However, those goals are secondary to what I really want to do. I won't let the lack of results bother me since almost everyday brings something unexpectedly pleasant into my life. I'm just enjoying the journey best I can and, before I know it, I'll finish a few goals and can progress to bigger goals!
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I want to elaborate on my general idea of a good destination. There are two things destination must have. First, it have be able to support you financial. This might not be financial freedom but you'll enjoy financial stability with the income provided from whatever dream you have picked. There's nothing better making a living out of something you love!
The second thing is regarding how many people benefit from your destination. If all you're focusing on is making yourself happy and fulfilled, then you'll find yourself in a situation where it's still not enough. You are trying to fill a void but you cannot fill it since you constantly want more. Such a situation would see you never happy and that isn't the destination you had in mind.
We have heard stories of rich people who aren't happy. They can afford anything they want and yet this doesn't bring them happiness. Why? It's quite simple. We as humans want to help people out! We get a good feeling when we take time helping strangers. I'm sure a lot of people had those feelings when they volunteered for something that matters. Nothing can truly replace that sort of feeling.
Therefore, we feel more joy when doing what we love also help other people. Let's say you build houses and rent them out. Part of your destination/dream is building housing that are affordable for low income families or students who need places to stay while they go to school. You aren't doing this for the thanks from these people. You are doing it because you know it makes a difference. That is what gives your life a greater meaning.
When you help people, you aren't expecting anything back. You don't need gratitude or thanks. Humans might appear selfish often but I'm certain people, if given a choice, want to be selfless. The environment can have a major impact in shaping who we are. In a selfish society, we naturally become that way. However, we still see selflessness in our society so we mustn't ever give up hope. We can all be selfless if we work hard enough.
We must also remember that, when we purchase something nice, it's great for a few days or months before the feeling is gone. When we help others, we know we made a difference and that feeling lasts forever. You might still remember the smiles of those you help later in life because those moments are priceless.
Let's go back to the example of making affordable housing. Maybe the parents of a family got laid off due to bad economy and not due to laziness or other negative traits. There's nothing more rewarding seeing them get through difficult times and they thanking you later in life because you cared about them first. When we help each other more, there's more happiness and positivity resulting in a better society as a whole.
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Hope is very valuable because, when we lose hope, we generally give up completely. Let's say we are part of a sports team and we see ourselves at a huge deficit. If we lost hope about a comeback, we won't even play hard and probably wish the match would be over already. No miracle can change that since we have stopped working towards the small chance of a comeback.
For many people dealing with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses, hope is such a critical factor related to their chances of overcoming their challenges. They need hope to continue the fight until they can be victorious eventually. These battles don't last a few day, weeks or even months. Many constantly deal with this issues for years and hope is often one of the reasons they keep on fighting.
In our society, people facing such issues have a very uphill battle. We have a stigma towards mental health which is a large obstacle in itself. This results in fewer resources invested in mental health treatment. We can see this with where we can go if we were physically ill. There are clinics, family doctors and emergency rooms for various physical illnesses. The same cannot be said about the mental illnesses.
This is only complicated when gender is involved. When so few resources are invested in mental illnesses, we see very small portion of it invested in boys and young men. People assume that men can simply "man" up and deal with these issues. If mental illnesses were so easy to deal with, we wouldn't have such a problem in the first place.
When those suffering cannot find help, they lose hope in their fight. When they lose hope, they will search for ways out and some go for suicide. If we can better tackle mental illnesses and give people the help they desperately need, then suicide rates should drop dramatically. People might point to all the information online but these cannot be compared to actual interaction with another person.
A person can have the most incredible writing and type it all online. A touching story can be great but the typed words cannot do it justice. Neither do video do justice to a powerful speaker since there are things you only feel when you are in their presence. The same is for those seeking help. They need real live people who can offer them comfort and give professional advice. Their physical presence give anchor to those fighting what appears to be a losing battle.
For those fighting these incredibly difficult battles, they need hope to not only keep fighting but also hold onto the belief they can be victorious. Such hope cannot be given over the internet or over the phone. Such hope can only be given by the physical presence of someone who has been there and won the war. As great as videos are, there's nothing more powerful than being present to the storytelling of a veteran of mental illnesses.
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When we lose hope, we practically give up completely. The opposite is also true where even a glimmer of hope can get them back up. If we were stuck in a very dark setting where there's no light, we feel helplessness and despair. If a firefly came along, we see hope. The firefly might not give much light but it provides enough to get us going again, especially in absolute darkness.
While a sun or flashlight might be nice, a firefly is the smallest thing we need to overcome a darkness that's completely overwhelming. When we are young and deal with various mental issues, we don't know where to go or who to seek help from. If there was a firefly acting as our guide, we'd never notice the darkness. After all, the illumination would be the only thing catching our attention.
I knew that, when I was experiencing the darkness and attempted my suicide, a small firefly would've made all the difference. Most of us don't need a lot of hope. A glimmer of hope that doesn't vanish after a few seconds provides us with strength we never thought we had. With that strength, we won't let any obstacles or challenges stand in our way.
That's why we need to give people hope. We don't need famous and successful people to give hope. Ordinary people can change lives, especially if they faced similar demons in the past. They don't need to give a lot to those in need. All they have to do is share a small act of kindness or give some words of encouragement. Small things matter and we mustn't forget that.
There are people out there calling for help but their voices are often lost. Most times, their silence say more than what comes out of their mouth. Do the small things like greet people or give hugs. They might refuse to accept at first because they only saw ugliness of our world. Eventually, we can show them the beauty of the world by providing them light through the small acts of kindness.
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Hesitation
While I was exploring my past regarding what I needed to improve, I realized that I hesitated a lot. I thought about a lot of changes and got many great ideas but, after some hesitation, I never went through them. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people reading this. Whenever we do something new, we tend to hesitate since we doubt ourselves and wonder if this idea was good or not.
When we hesitate, we often think about the worst case scenarios if we went through with it. There might be good things but all our brain comes up with happened to be a list of bad thing. In essence, hesitation gives our brain time to come up with the list to help dissuade us. If we simply went through without hesitation, the list wouldn't show up and we likely would go through with it.
Now, this is essentially how brain is designed. It's built to protect us from danger and it worked very well for our ancestors who were hunting out in the wilderness. Basically, trying something new back then risked more. A mistake and they become some other creature's meal. That was the case then but no longer the case now. In many ways, failures nowadays doesn't meant immediate death.
I honestly don't think our brain has evolved. It still responds similarly as it had with our ancestors regarding pain, fear, pleasure and other responses. What changed is how our society operated and the technological advances we made over the centuries. We no longer run the risks of simply dying following a bad gamble. If anything, our current society rewards those who risks and never give up.
Hesitation no longer suits us nowadays when failures are basically lessons to get us further in life. Our brain might use hesitation to dissuade us but it's not always right due to how it's programmed. If we have a big dream, we shouldn't hesitate or there's a good chance it won't even get started. When you know you found your purpose, don't let hesitation stop you!
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Here are some ways I believe can help people overcome hesitation. Like most things in life, we need to figure out why we are hesitating. There are generally two reasons for why we hesitate, though there are a lot more other reasons depending on the person involved. The first reason is the lack of confidence. This is quite common where we aren't certain of our abilities to do a certain thing.
This lack of confidence might be due to low self-esteem or failures that were never forgotten. When we try to do something new, it's not hard to think back to our failures and begin doubting our abilities to do so. The fear of more failure easily transitions hesitation to outright rejection. No one want to fail and, as a result, the only route would be not taking action at all.
The second reason is the lack of courage. We lack courage to face our fears and the uncertainty. We might fear embarrassment following failure. In our society, many people want the approval of others. In a classroom setting, the person who stands out the most is usually the weirdo or the class clown, neither of which are really desirable for most people.
Regarding lack of confidence, people must know that they have the potential. They must also remember that things they could do confidently in the present wasn't always like that. For instance, people don't know how to bike when they were born. They had to learn and, after a few falls with some scrapes and cuts, master biking. This is the same with everything else as they're no different from biking.
As for lack of courage, people are braver than they think. This is often seen when they try out new things in life. This might be trying out a new cuisine or go to a new environment. For many people, the transition from elementary school to high school wasn't exceptionally smooth. It's a pretty big change with the pacing and the subjects learned. If people are adapt to these transitions, they can adapt to many other things and just have to believe in themselves.
In addition, the fear is natural because how's our brain is wired. Being fearful is part of being human but we mustn't let fear control our lives. This allows an emotion take over our decision making as opposed to our rational side or our gut. Our gut always have the best intention in mind while fear only gives our the options of fight or flee, neither of which are optimal when we try to pursue a dream.
The fear and confidence can be overcome by making small goals. Big dreams won't happen overnight but they are still made up of small building blocks. The building blocks can be accomplished each day and each of these achievements chase away a bit more fear and builds up a bit more confidence. Take these small steps and, before you know it, you have reached a certain milestone you never thought you can reach.
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Procrastination
Procrastination is basically delaying or putting off something until the last minute. I'm sure people reading this have experienced procrastination in their lives. I'm one of those people still working hard to change procrastination and it's a slow process. After all, we all know the difficulty of changing a bad habit which seemed to easy to adopt in the first place.
One of the main reasons why we procrastinate is due to the "I don't feel like it." We all heard people responding when we asked them if they did their homework or performed a certain chore. Now, why don't we feel like doing it? First, we lack the motivation to do the certain action. I firmly believe that things we need motivation to be done won't ever be done.
Motivation rarely lasts long and, when we lack it, we lose whatever got us started in the first place, assuming we started. Given how unreliable motivation can be, it's not a good enough reason to get something done. A better reason is fighting for a better future. A person who works full-time while studying will study harder than those who live with their parents and don't have such a heavy financial burden.
Essentially, those who are faced with problems like starvation and homelessness won't need more motivation to work hard. No amount of motivation for someone who's more fortunate can rival such a desperation. That's partially why I haven't done as well in school and I know there are people out there who invested more time and effort in school than me. We don't need more motivation in our lives. We need a better reason for why we are doing certain things.
Secondly, boredom also promotes procrastination. Many people like me see homework as boring so we procrastinate. We of course never procrastinate when we are doing fun things. When was the last time we put off the invitation of a party or an event related to our hobbies at the very last minute? For things that are boring, we don't see it as exciting and that's usually a good enough reason to delay it until it's unavoidable.
Procrastination really hinders our ability to move forward, especially for our dreams. Our dreams might be big and need five or ten years to become a reality. When we keep putting it off to start, we'll never get started and we cannot finish if we never start. The start of a dream is usually dull and boring so we need more than motivation to get started. Then, we also need a why to keep us going.
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Here are some other reasons we use to justify our procrastination. We might claim we don't know how to do something. That's clearly not a good reason since, in life, we don't have all the answers. Yet, that shouldn't stop us from moving forward. How many of us know how we should study or excel at school? How many of us start a job knowing how to do every single task?
The how actually becomes irrelevant because we'll learn how eventually. We need to have a good mindset heading in. This mindset sees us learning everything we can and mastering skills that will benefit us the most. We must also accept that mistakes will be made and learn from them. Life has an interesting way to showing us the how when we move forward. If we are too afraid to make the first step, even life couldn't show the how to us.
There are also situations where people do all this research about a certain thing and feel overwhelmed. Our internet has so much information and much of it will be useless for you. They won't benefit you in your journey leading to your dream and filling them in your brains means less useful info can fit it. Doing some research can be good but it's far better going head in and do research along the way for things you actually encounter.
Another reason is the fear of failure. This is closely tied to not knowing how. If we don't know how, we think up the worst case scenario. At school, we might think we'll fail and drop out. At work, we might worry about being fired for making a terrible mistake. There might be nothing supporting these but our imagination can be powerful and convinces us that there's a good chance of these happening.
Ironically, there are also people who fear of succeeding. Now, I have never experienced this and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. However, I have encountered people with this issue. They worry that, by getting a certain task done, the expectations are higher for them. When the bars are raised and they fail to reach them, they fear that people might accuse them of cheating the first time.
In life, we cannot hope to stay where we are all the time. That's the only way we truly fail in life. We cannot move forward if we choose to anchor exactly where we stand. Now, success is a good thing if we use it to keep working harder. We all want and need a chance to shine. There's nothing better than tapping into your potential and have people who recognize your worth.
It's one thing to find success and another to maintain this success. Then, it's something altogether different to reach newer heights after your initial success. We all have a purpose of inspiring the new generations so they want to pursue on these difficult journeys leading to their own definition of success. When we stand still, we become nobodies and no one want to be nobodies in our world.
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I want to discuss how I think we should deal with procrastination so it won't hinder our lives. One of the reasons causing procrastination is fear. We have fear of failure, fear of success and fear of uncertainty to name a few. When we let fear govern our decision making, we very easily think of the worst case scenarios that, while very unlikely, will stop us in our tracks of doing something.
These worst case scenarios can get so bad we actually see the act of doing something having the potential to kill us. We must remember that times have changed and things we procrastinate usually don't kill us. Let's use dreams as an example. Let's say you have an "unconventional" dream of being a singer or a writer. It's true that, when you start and before you become famous, your life will be tough.
You will be scraping by and making do of little to no income while you try to make your dream a reality. You need to constantly work hard and improve yourself. That and a little bit of luck will eventually see you succeed. However, scraping by is different from trying to survive in an environment where you are a prey to other animals.
Our ancestors, those from a time where civilization was just starting and much of the world is still wilderness, faced these kind of threats. A mistake by them might see them eaten by wolves or bears. They can ill-afford mistakes since they have only one shot at life. Nowadays, we cannot say the same since most of the mistakes we make won't kill us. If anything, these mistakes make us stronger as a result.
When we pursue a dream, we often travel a lonely journey faced with numerous obstacles. I never said such a journey would be easy but we don't face the threat of death like our ancestors did. That's why, despite the impression that our brain is protecting us, we must convince it otherwise with logic and rationale. Our brain is different from those of other animals due to our ability to better reason with ourselves and each other.
Here's one instance where internet can be useful. We can search up stories of people who achieved feats similar to our dreams. If we read about their stories, we see the hardships they encounter but, more often than not, most of these hardships don't come close to death. At the very least, they usually don't rival the worst case scenarios we thought up of due to our incredible imagination.
When fear is causing our procrastination, we need to do some research. Not too much or we'll never get started. We need to learn if there's any reason supporting the fear and not let the most unlikely scenario dictate how we approach an issue. When we can tackle the source of our fear, we'll allow our rationale, not fear, decide our future!
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This entry, I want to talk about procrastination caused by boredom or the "I don't feel like it" mentality. For both of these, we need to figure out our why. Not everyone needs a why to rid procrastination but I feel a stronger why can help many people who find themselves procrastinating regarding things like pursuing a dream they always wanted.
Regardless of what dreams we have, the beginning will be tough, dull and won't see us make much progress in our pursuit. For those who have started on their dreams, it's usually this stage when they give up. Things weren't as exciting as they believed it was initially. After all, we might pursue something we saw on the internet or television and those are the success stories.
We must remember that the start will get tough and might be filled with boredom. We must plan, make goals and do things that weren't fun. For instance, I have a YouTube channel. I enjoy making the recordings but those are only part of my tasks. I must also edit and, if the recordings didn't go well, I must redo the recordings. There are times when I have to make the same recordings multiple times until the sound quality is acceptable given my equipment.
We'll also encounter mistakes early on and these mistakes make it worse. We not only feel bad about being a "failure" but we also develop doubt in ourselves. We don't like the feeling of "failing" and these can discourage us enough that we give up altogether. For other dreams, they have their own frustrations and lack the short-term gains people often desperately search for and needing to justify their decision to walk this path.
At the start, we are building a foundation necessary to our success. The foundation is hard work that doesn't feel especially satisfying but we cannot ignore it. Imagine a high rise with a terrible foundation. How much trust would you put into something that can collapse onto itself because someone took shortcuts and didn't do the work need?
What gets us to build a strong foundation is our why. Why do I make videos and write these entries? I want to help people by providing a perspective and start a discussion. Too often, I heard stories of people suffering mental illnesses state they cannot find a place they can belong to. These people search for forums but I feel there's only so much that can be accomplish with words typed on a screen.
I want to make videos and podcasts where people can hear others talk about serious issues. We aren't always in the mood of reading something but we can listen. If someone cannot sleep, they can maybe turn on one of my podcasts and listen. They can hear how they aren't alone. They can also see both the similarities and difference between themselves and others with similar problems.
Having suffered but being fortunate to not deal with as serious issues as many others here, I think I have a duty to help those who seek for help. We cannot always expect the government to do something about mental health issues so us ordinary people have to stand up for it. That's my why so I'm not going to stop until I make my dream come true.
As soon as our why involves more than us, we stop fighting for ourselves. When we fight for only ourselves, we give up easily if we don't want to deal with it anymore. When we fight for other people too, we are constantly reminded that we cannot give up for their sake. That belief is what separates those reaching their dreams and those who give up shortly after they started!
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Realistic
In our lives, we all experience situations where people tell us to make realistic goals and realistic dreams. We shouldn't be dreamers and do crazy things. I heard this countless time and had agreed to it for a long time. Yet, times have changed and, after experiencing some lessons taught to me by life itself, I began to hate it when people tell me to be realistic with my future.
After all, what do they mean by realistic? Whose standard is this realistic based upon? What is realistic to one person might be unrealistic for another person. I'm a pretty skinny guy so it's unrealistic to see me lifting weights like I do it regularly. For those training for years, it's realistic for them. Until we define what's meant by realistic, we are basically sending the wrong message to people.
We each have our strengths and weaknesses so a vague term like realistic simply doesn't work. Our society has a mold which is considered realistic for everyone. We go to school, get a degree and then get a job. This is the most realistic view our society promotes, especially through our schools. Anything that strays from this path is unrealistic and frowned upon.
We must remember that not everyone can study and do well in exams. I'm one of those people who can do alright but it's not how I learn. The way schools teach and test are probably the worst match for me. On the contrary, I learn best with things I enjoy and I self teach myself. With my YouTube channel and website, I learn from guides online and obtained more useful things than what I can grasp from my lectures.
This is likely the case for many other people where the school environment doesn't suit them. They cannot sit still and need other ways of learning which is why our schools must diversify how classes are taught. If we use the same standards for all students, some will fail since they cannot excel in such an environment. This is especially bad for the newer generations who, after failing, get the idea they are stupid and worthless.
I was fortunate to learn from experience that I'm not stupid and worthless. I've merely been pursuing the wrong path and stumbled every bit of the way. I'm charting a proper course now and would have been on the way long ago if schools were so terribly structured and forcing its students into a mold. I have learned that the realistic expectations, goals and dreams society expect of us don't suit me so I'll walk my own path!
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Last entry, I talked how we shouldn't let society or other people decide what's realistic for us. What's possible for one person might not be for another. We know ourselves best or, at the very least, we are in the best position to discover who we are. The early stages of our life are discovering what we are truly capable of but this cannot be achieved by going to school.
Sadly, schools nowadays are aimed to teach us what to think and not how to think. They emphasis this mold we must fit into or we'll be outcasts and failures in our society. We can only discover who we are by seeing more of the world with our own two eyes, not through a monitor or screen. Only by seeing more of this world and meeting more people can we slowly piece together what makes us unique in this world.
For this entry, I want to talk about us setting realistic goals for ourselves. This is the realistic we determined for ourselves. We have picked what we wanted to pursue in life and what awaits us is to get there step by step. To get there, we make goals for ourselves and, by accomplishing each goal, we get closer and closer until the dream is a reality. However, goal setting isn't as easy as many people think it might be.
When we set unrealistic goals, we get into a situation where we don't meet it and get discouraged. Discouragement can be so powerful that many people give up on their dreams due to it. When we set proper goals, we can avoid this altogether. Now, you might wonder what I meant by unrealistic goals. One example would be expecting ten thousand loyal subscribers within the first month of making a YouTube channel. This isn't impossible but your odds are probably worse than winning a lottery.
There are unreasonable expectations in life and we must realize them. Too many people nowadays expect success instantly or very early on. Unrealistic goals are generally those that support these crazy expectations. When these aren't met, those people no longer think they can do it when they are actually experiencing what anybody else would experience in their situation. Some might get faster growth but, generally, the start is the toughest.
I personally believe that the early goals for people, regardless of what they pursue, is to make as many mistakes as possible and learn from them as quickly as possible. Early on, we shouldn't be expecting any success and, instead, learn how to build a strong foundation. Any success is just a bonus but we shouldn't expect these to happen.
It's through making mistakes and getting through the learning stages that we learn what goals we can set for ourselves. It's never a bad idea to set smaller goals but there's a difference between smaller and low goals. Small goals are merely breaking things down so we can see progress easier and build confidence through them. Low goals are lowering our expectations and killing any momentum we could have by playing too safe.
Setting goals is never easy and it's a constant learning process. The successful people nowadays are those who made plenty of mistakes and set goals they can reach. That's why we shouldn't be too focused on goal setting at the very beginning since we tend to make them unrealistic. Instead, we should learn when we can afford mistakes and become better informed in the matter to set better goals.
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Future
The future is important as it's the destination I talked about. While I did say that journey is more important than destination, we cannot really have a journey without one. Maybe you and a friend decided to go somewhere on a day off but neither of you have an idea where. Therefore, you two wander aimlessly and, if you're lucky, you might arrive some place that gives you an enjoyable experience. Otherwise, you'd waste that day with hardly anything done other than a lengthy car ride.
Regardless of what your journey might be, you must first determine your destination. The further you set the destination, the longer and the more rewarding the journey will be. What's great about setting the destination is you have a lot of freedom regarding when you want to reach it. This could be tomorrow, next week, next month, etc....
As you are picking the when, you might be tempted to choose a realistic timeline. I honestly believe that it never hurts to push the boundaries. Take a bit more risk and aim higher. For a business, this might be getting more products done than what was anticipated without the quality suffering. As we push this boundary, we are actually pushing ourselves to be better and better. As long as we keep improving, we'll be able to reach newer heights.
The future also contains many surprises, some good and some bad. Know that those good surprises could change your life forever. You might find a great friend or find that other half you've been searching for. You might also encounter a person who will play a big role in getting you closer to making your dream a reality. The incredible thing about life is you never know how an encounter could change your life. It either makes it better or teaches you a valuable lesson you won't ever forget.
People without a destination often wonder if there's more to life. That's why you must have something you want. We all have things we desire but it's up to us to work for it. The future will be in the present for a split second before it becomes the past. Therefore, you must prepare so that, when it arrives, you can take advantage of it. Maintain a positive mindset and you'll get more during the journey that is basically preparing you for the future you have envisioned.
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There are two "cons" regarding the future. The first con sees people who fear the future and its uncertainty. They might have heard certain things on the news like the predictions of the economy crashing. These things make people take what they believe is the safe and conservative path which often sees them giving up on their dreams or doing things that eliminates all the progress they made towards their dream.
People should never let fear govern their actions because they more than likely pick choices they'd regret later. While you don't know what will happen, the uncertainty also allows you to write out your future. They essentially provide you with blank pages which you can fill in with what you want. When fear is controlling you, other people will fill in those pages and naturally those people don't know what's best for you.
The second con is people dreaming and planning all their lives but never actually take action. For instance, a person wanting to be a professional singer might often dream about a large stage with numerous loyal fans cheering for him or her. This person probably had goals for each year planned out which is solid. However, this person made the mistake of focusing too much time on dreaming and planning while not putting close to enough time in putting everything into action.
I learned in life that most of our plans won't go according to plan so we need to adapt. Regardless how many contingency plans we have in place, life have surprises we would never see coming. Having a destination is good. So is have a rough plan on how you'll get there. Just remember that the details for the plans will change as you move forward and adapt properly.
We don't need to worry about how we would make a dream come true. Take the first step that so many people are afraid to take. Once you're on this journey, you will find the how along the way. I didn't know how to turn my life around until I did door to door sales. This was probably the last thing I expected but it has taught me what I had to do next. For everyone else, there are ways life teaches us the how as long as we go on the journey leading to our dream.
The future is great when we have goals and dreams. Simply remember that dreams isn't enough. We must put in work and action to make dreams come dream. The present is when we take action while our future is what gives us a general direction. Meanwhile, the past contains the lessons we must learn to move closer to that future we always wanted.
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Pain
Pain comes in many forms and sizes. Some are physical pain and others are mental pain. More often than not, you can go to doctor regarding a physical pain and determine what's causing it. For mental pain, it's usually tougher and, sadly, fewer are willing to see doctors due to the stigma we have towards mental illnesses.
People have different ways to dealing with ways and some are just horrible approaches. These approaches causes more problems where facing problems head on yields much better results. One of these approaches is denial where people deny there was anything wrong and/or the pain doesn't actually exist. Such denial can only do so much to keep the pain at bay. I like to see this as erecting a wall that has cracks forming. It stops the pain initially but, as time passes, the cracks grow bigger and the pain returns.
The denial makes you refusing to see a problem exist whether it's physical or mental. This actually makes you vulnerable since, when we don't see problems, we don't seek solutions. For example, someone might feel some minor pain and assumed they were just tired. A few years later, they discovered they had cancer which could've been taken care of with ease when they first felt the pain. We underestimate what something can do until it's so big we can no longer ignore it.
When we don't see the problems, we won't ever find solution and others cannot help you either. When we are dealing with mental illnesses, that's a challenge we face. We don't know who to turn to but, by keeping the problems within us, it eats us from within. Our primal part of our brain teaches us to avoid pain. This was a great approach when we are fleeing from predators. Given how complicated our brains are, fleeing isn't the best solution anymore.
Denial, basically a form of fleeing, won't stop the pain. It can buy us time so we can better prepare for it but that's about it. Know the many problems had to be dealt head on or the pain will haunt us the rest of our lives. We shouldn't pay a greater price simply due to our reluctance to deal with a problem when it was still manageable.
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Another way people deal with pain is distraction. Many people believe that, if they are distracted, the pain wouldn't be as bad. These distractions come in many different forms. One example might be a failed relationship forced a person to work extra hours. Since this person is so busy working, he or she wouldn't have time to let his or her mind wander to the relationship that had ended in failure.
Another distraction could be drugs. We all know drugs are terrible but, for some people, they feel their pain is so bad that the consequences of taking drugs is minor compared to what they're dealing with. They also have the belief they can stop taking drugs when the pain is gone. To them, drugs are a temporary solution which they could end whenever they want.
The third distraction I want to mention is food. For many of us, we have our comfort food which aren't always necessarily healthy food. Despite knowing this, eating these food helps make us at ease and can keep the pain at bay, even momentarily. Whenever the pain returns, people can get into the habit of returning to eating to keep it at bay longer.
All three forms of distractions mentioned above all have negative outcomes as a result. Working extra means your body gets less rest, especially when you are pushing yourself to exhaustion to not let your mind wander to the pain. We can handle these sort of workload when we are young but our body suffers and we'll see the consequences later in life when our body complains.
Drugs are dangerous due to how destructive they are. They can destroy so many lives and willpower alone isn't normally enough to quit them. For those we resort to drugs, they are playing a dangerous game where they are trading the pain for something that's far worse. As for food, obesity leads to heart problems and other health issues so this isn't any better.
Denial and distractions don't help as neither approach really aims to resolve the issue at the root. One is refusing to acknowledge there's a problem while the other is running away from it. I believe that tackling pain, no matter how much it hurts and how much we fear it, is the best approach. I'll discuss this in the next entry.
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Running from pain isn't the solution and the only way to overcome it to face it head on. This approach isn't easy but it's necessary if we hope to leave it in the past and move towards the future. After all, running only lets the pain haunt you from time to time while it's never really gone. Constantly feeling pain is certainly not a way we want as we progress through life.
Pain reminds us of things and teaches us a lesson. When we were kids and get burned on the stove, we learn not to touch it when it's hot. Pain at times is the best way we can learn valuable lessons we need to make progress in life. Pain never happens without a reason so we need to figure out why it's there. When we figure it out, then we use this bit of knowledge to understand what we can obtain from it.
Pain can tell us that we made poor friends or got into a bad relationship. We will make mistakes in life and many of these mistakes will cause pain. Some pain are temporary and will go away on their own while other pain will remain until you deal with it. The latter is what's often holding people back as they cannot let go of a past thinking that letting go would make the pain worse.
In our lives, pain is very much like failure. Nobody wants it but it's necessary in our lives. If we are too busy trying to avoid all pain, we'd never have anything accomplished in life. We'd let fear grip us so fully that we lost control of our lives. When pain does come into our lives, there are various responses which includes suicide. It's our response that determines how our future would be shaped up.
To tap into our full potential, we must accept that pain and failure will happen. They are there to make us tougher so we'd be ready for bigger challenges in life. We learned how to ride a bike this way so we most certainly can accomplish anything when we are older, wiser and stronger. Remember that the greatest people in history had to endure the greatest pain. Therefore, you are meant for greatness if you are suffering incredible amount of pain!
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Sharing
From a very young age, we were taught to share with classmates and friends. Somewhere along the way, some of us changed. I know I changed where I don't want to share and would rather keep everything to myself. I never figured out why but I don't even want other people touching my stuff and became much more selfish.
This situation was worsened when I wanted more stuff. When I was a kid, my parents weren't wealthy at all so I often watch with envy as other kids have lots of things that I have none of. Essentially, I wanted to keep all that I had and wanted more for myself. Looking back, I feel ashamed of this mentality after what I experienced recently in life as an adult.
The more selfish and self centered I am, the less I'm willing to share whether it's laughter or money. As a result, I was never really happy since I lost track what truly mattered. After all, we gain things by giving and sharing is the first step towards giving. When I refuse to share, I, while didn't realizing at the time, was going down a spiral where, no matter how much I got, I won't ever be happy or fulfilled.
After experiencing the lowest points of my life, I learned there's more than just wanting more. For my channel, I just wanted to share my stories. Despite it being ordinary stories with failures many people experience, I hope this could give people hope and courage when they are facing their own struggles in life. When we can change lives by sharing, we get things that no amount of money can buy. After all, we learn we are living more than just ourselves by touching other people's lives.
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Sharing is so important and we need to teach kids when they were young. Classic example of sharing that comes to mind is two kids with a single toy. Sharing will see both kids getting a chance to play with the toy but neither of them will have sole control. Essentially, the kids must learn to compromise since only one toy is available for both of them.
The kids learn that they must make sacrifices in the process which is roughly how the world works. We cannot get all the good stuff and compromises have to be made. Two parties might have to work together to both benefit from the cooperation. We might get less than we wanted but we get something rather than failing by ourselves and gain nothing at all.
We have all seen selfish and self-centered people in our lives. They want everything to themselves thinking that the world owes them. How willing are you to become these people's friend? Quite unlikely since such a one-sided situation is nothing people want to be in. At the very least, people want friends who will have their back when required. You won't get any of that from a selfish person.
If a person, from a young age, was spoiled by parents, then he/she will expect to get anything he/she desires. The real world, sadly, doesn't work that way. The issues lies in that, as a person get older, it much harder to learn how to share. Changing these sorts of mentality isn't easy for adults and, the longer a person delays, the worse it gets for the person's life. After all, life does have to teach some of us the hard way if we don't learn early on.
Something else gained from sharing is learning how to cope with disappointment. If people learn to compromise, they learn that they cannot have everything to themselves. Sacrifices had to be made so both sides can benefit. This can lead to some disappointment since a person might want the whole thing. If kids were taught at a young age that disappointments will happen and can respond maturely, they will get through life much easier.
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I'll be focusing on the workplace of nowadays. We are busy competing with our peers to get promotions and raises. Oftentimes, this competitiveness blinds people and makes them less willing to share. A person might have great ideas but, in order to obtain an edge that could give a person a better chance for promotion, he or she will keep it to themselves.
At the workplace, there are two types of people who get promoted (note this is very generalized). One type is a person who knows how get on the good side of his or her superiors. This person compliments the boss and do the "right" things to make the boss like him or her more. When a promotion comes up, this person will be considered due to the personal preference of the boss.
The second type is a leader. A person who has the skills to thrive in a higher position and can bring many positive changes to a company. For a good company, the leaders are picked for the management due to merit. One thing leaders do differently is they share their knowledge. Some people might scoff at this action which seems to be ruining their chances of moving up the corporate ladder.
A leader wants more than just themselves thriving. They want the company to thrive because they believe in what the company is offering. By sharing knowledge, these leaders are mentoring the people below them so one day those people will rise up and take over. Mentors are so vital in companies since they are the people who ensure if a company just survives or thrives.
Something great about leaders is that they have nothing to fear. If they lose their job, they can go elsewhere with confidence in their skills. Sometimes, they might even start their own business and competes with their old workplace. When you are a leader, you don't fear anything. You have everything you need to thrive in this world.
These leaders are different because they put more emphasis on sharing and cooperation. Competitiveness can be good but our society has very much neglected cooperation. When you share so everyone in a group benefits, you have a strong team who can multiply success many folds. If you are competitive and everyone is for him/herself, then the group's efficiency falls and only a few successes can be found.
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Journey
Life is a journey where we have a starting point and an ending point. Those two points are the only things we are certain about life, though the when of the end point remains unknown to us. These journeys are rarely straight lines since they contain many surprises and numerous turns. Regardless of how these journeys are shaped, we will see the beauty and ugliness of our world.
Now, we cannot have much of a journey without having a destination. Can you imagine going anywhere without a destination in mind? This is one of the biggest challenges in life and people, as a result, tend to have very vague destinations regarding their life. For example, they might want more money and more love which, while decent destinations, are so vague that they don't specify what they want exactly.
The destinations in life can be vague when you first started but you will need to focus to a single point eventually. Otherwise, you are just traveling aimlessly in a large territory and only dumb luck can get you what you truly want. A vague destination is fine when we were kids. I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said doctor. I was way off point after what I experienced!
Our society expect our eighteen year olds to know what they want to do. This is just too early. Graduating from secondary school should see young adults seeing more of the world or more of the city they live in. There nothing that can replace wisdom which could get people further ahead. Sure, there are lots of information on the internet but information doesn't bring wisdom. Experiences does!
Before deciding on what we want to do, we must see more of the world and experience more of what it can offer. During these experiences, we must learn two things in life. First, we must discover what this world has to offer. Technological advances bring more opportunities and make some traditional careers disappear. Secondly, we must learn more about ourselves so we know what destination suits us best.
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We need a destination to have a journey. The destination can be vague initially but we have to narrow it down eventually to know where we're headed. One of the things we need to determine our destination is being informed of what this world has to offer. The world is constantly changing and, as a result, we must adapt to better thrive in the new environment.
When I was in elementary school, there might be a computer lab if we were lucky. Personal computers were only just picking up and life was quite different back then. Nowadays, we have smart phones that possess more computing power than the computers back then. These technological advances will happen since we, as humans, want to move forward in progress.
These changes are unavoidable so we must learn how they can benefit us. With new technology, some jobs that were popular back then might be disappearing nowadays. We all know about automation that sees some company hiring a lot less workers since machines and robots could do the same work at a lower cost. These opportunities would, as a result, take a pretty drastic change.
What we must do is better inform ourselves of these changes. I'm not saying you cannot pursue opportunities with more competitiveness. You need to be informed to know what you are getting into and, if you have enough passion, you still should do it. Remember that, when you enjoy what you're doing, it's only a matter of time before you rise above all of your competition.
When determining our destination, the information we gather will affect it. I'm not saying that we should pick the easier opportunities when a tougher one seems more enticing. Listen to your gut when you pick your destination and just go do it. When you are young, it's fine to have a rough idea of where you're headed. As you get older, you need to be more specific or you'll wander aimlessly in life.
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To find our destination, we must know who we are. This might sound a little awkward but, for most of us, we don't really know who we are. Society and our family members have expectations for us. Since a young age, we want to please other people and, to do that, we must do what they want to see. This isn't necessarily what we want but we are too afraid to do otherwise.
Doing well at school gets us praise which makes us feel good. Since we like this feeling, we want to keep doing well so we can continue getting such praises. By doing so, we are making other people happy like our teachers and relatives. The real question is whether or not we are happy ourselves. Does meeting other people's expectations bring happiness to us?
We had our own dreams like singers and writers that encounter lots of resistance from our family members. In addition, some of us not only don't thrive in school but also get destroyed by it. If a student is struggling due to the teaching methods, he or she doesn't know that and thinks he or she is dumb. This lowers self-esteem that has profound impact on his or her future.
The main reason why we go to school is to pursue a certain degree or diploma. Getting a piece of paper can take awhile and this time could be used elsewhere. Therefore, it's vital for the young people to know themselves better before they make such an important choice. Not only will they not get the time back but, as they age, learning becomes tougher.
Learning who we are ties in with seeing more of the world. There are beauty and ugliness in this world and seeing things with different perspective helps us by offering more choices. Too many choices can be a bad thing so knowing who we are narrows down the choices. We want to work towards our strength which excels in some fields more than other fields.
Once we know who we are and what we truly desire, we can finally decide on our destination. Wandering aimlessly doesn't get you ahead and time isn't going to wait for you. If you destination requires a degree to open doors, go to school so you can get it. If you don't need degrees, pursue your dream so that, when other people are just graduating, you'd already invested a few years in your pursuit of success.
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Let's assume that we have determined our destination like being a business owner or become a professional singer. We might have a destination but this doesn't necessarily mean that our journey has begun. We all, at one point in life, had great dreams of what we wanted to do, especially when we were kids and believe nothing is impossible, but many of us never go through with it.
The issues lies in the lack of courage for most of us regarding starting on this journey. There are many uncertainties and challenges along the way and these terrify us. After all, we only think about a new destination when we aren't happy with our lives. There are things in our lives we'd rather not have so we desire change. The irony lies in that we might be unwilling to experience the change.
When we start on a new journey, we must abandon our old journey. This isn't always a bad thing but people have familiarity with their old journey. The new destination isn't going to happen overnight and might happen years or even decades from now. The terrifying prospect of the new journey makes people, despite how much they hate it, stick with their old journey.
As a gamer, I like to use a game as an example. Let's say we want to play an adventure game and we just finished our character creation. We then have an open world to explore and we can decide where we want to do. Do we hesitate to begin? Do we fear hostile enemies waiting out there? Or do we charge head first ready to tackle any challenges that might come our way?
The character creation is basically us defining ourselves from our old selves. It's through this process that we determine our new destination. We might not charge head first in real life due to the inability to save and reload if anything goes wrong. Yet, we must remember that, the more we hesitate, the less likely we'll reach the destination.
In addition, we go through life exactly like this. Remember the first time you started a job. You weren't confident in your skills and wonder if you can keep working there. After a year, you're like a veteran and what seemed terrifying becomes something you're comfortable with. That's how we go through life. We go from a terrifying experience to something we can do with ease. Take that first step knowing it won't be as terrifying a hundred steps in!
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Let's assume that we have taken our first step on our journey, a feat many failed to take. We might have taken our first step but this doesn't meant things will get easier. In video games, the start of the games are generally easier with the difficulty increasing the further you go. For real life, it works quite differently where you'll found yourself facing many challenges from the very beginning.
We will encounter resistance from family members and critiques from complete strangers. We will face lots of pressure which constantly feeds doubt into us if we let them. The beginning is often very rough and, for many people, this is also where many gave up thinking they cannot do it. It's one thing to get started but another thing altogether to keep going.
You might wonder why people want to experience a journey where the beginning is so rough. Let me use an example of you getting a 98% on a test. You will feel great and your chances of revisiting everything related to the exam is nonexistent. You might be a good student and check what you got wrong but that's about it. This goes for the journey as well where, if you are doing well, you won't change.
Our society has gotten into a mentality that emphasizes we don't change what isn't broken. If things are going along, we don't do anything regarding it and fail to adapt to situations we never saw coming. If a journey begins easy, we'd think we can complete it with ease not knowing that we are ill-prepared for the challenges up ahead. That's why we need a tough start. We have to learn that things won't get easy and we must work hard for every bit of progress.
Now, why can we not start easier and tackle the challenges later? We have more at stake later so we don't want to take the same risks. Let's say you started a company when you're single where failure would only affect you. What if things went well and you got married along with getting kids? Challenges arrive and you feel pressured since there are more people affected by the outcome of how you do with your company.
I don't think any journeys really get easier later on. There might be greater challenges up ahead. The only difference is you. You possess different skill sets and your mastery of them differs. The more you were challenged at the start, the better you can tackle obstacles and you can take calculated risks as opposed to going into the dark hoping you end up where you want to be.
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Last entry, I talked about the challenges we experience at the start of the journey. These aren't there to stop you but, rather, teach you and prepare you for the unexpected challenges up ahead. Let's say you overcame these initial challenges because you found the reason and passion to keep moving forward. While the journey won't get any easier by much, you at least have what it takes to keep moving forward.
When we go on a journey or adventure, we should enjoy it and have fun. We shouldn't be so goal orientated that we miss out on our surroundings. After all, the journey would be a lot more enjoyable if we are having fun. Instead of feeling like we are doing chores or hard work, we do something we love and the goals will be met with ease and you'll achieve them without even noticing.
The journey will show you the beauty of the world and people who you want to become part of your life. That's why we want to go on these journeys. We won't meet them if we are too afraid to leave our comfort zone. Remember that only you can enter your comfort zone so it's a lonely experience if you dare not step out of your comfort zone.
I'll use myself as an example. I started Dwaan because I wanted to help people. The start hasn't been easy as my website and channel have yet to get much attention. I know these are slow processes so I remain patient and keep working away. It's a steady grind where I can only be victorious if I keep going. Knowing that what I'm doing will help people, I have no reason to give up on this dream of mine.
Along the way, I met with people who joined me on podcast. That hasn't been possible lately with real life getting busy but I'm still working away with the social media to get people's attention without spamming. I also got comments, mostly in forums where I do these sort of journals, and I get the impression I'm heading in the right direction. Progress might seem nonexistent but I'm definitely charting the right course.
Of course, I set goals as to what I want to achieve with my website and channel. However, those goals are secondary to what I really want to do. I won't let the lack of results bother me since almost everyday brings something unexpectedly pleasant into my life. I'm just enjoying the journey best I can and, before I know it, I'll finish a few goals and can progress to bigger goals!
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I want to elaborate on my general idea of a good destination. There are two things destination must have. First, it have be able to support you financial. This might not be financial freedom but you'll enjoy financial stability with the income provided from whatever dream you have picked. There's nothing better making a living out of something you love!
The second thing is regarding how many people benefit from your destination. If all you're focusing on is making yourself happy and fulfilled, then you'll find yourself in a situation where it's still not enough. You are trying to fill a void but you cannot fill it since you constantly want more. Such a situation would see you never happy and that isn't the destination you had in mind.
We have heard stories of rich people who aren't happy. They can afford anything they want and yet this doesn't bring them happiness. Why? It's quite simple. We as humans want to help people out! We get a good feeling when we take time helping strangers. I'm sure a lot of people had those feelings when they volunteered for something that matters. Nothing can truly replace that sort of feeling.
Therefore, we feel more joy when doing what we love also help other people. Let's say you build houses and rent them out. Part of your destination/dream is building housing that are affordable for low income families or students who need places to stay while they go to school. You aren't doing this for the thanks from these people. You are doing it because you know it makes a difference. That is what gives your life a greater meaning.
When you help people, you aren't expecting anything back. You don't need gratitude or thanks. Humans might appear selfish often but I'm certain people, if given a choice, want to be selfless. The environment can have a major impact in shaping who we are. In a selfish society, we naturally become that way. However, we still see selflessness in our society so we mustn't ever give up hope. We can all be selfless if we work hard enough.
We must also remember that, when we purchase something nice, it's great for a few days or months before the feeling is gone. When we help others, we know we made a difference and that feeling lasts forever. You might still remember the smiles of those you help later in life because those moments are priceless.
Let's go back to the example of making affordable housing. Maybe the parents of a family got laid off due to bad economy and not due to laziness or other negative traits. There's nothing more rewarding seeing them get through difficult times and they thanking you later in life because you cared about them first. When we help each other more, there's more happiness and positivity resulting in a better society as a whole.
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Hope is very valuable because, when we lose hope, we generally give up completely. Let's say we are part of a sports team and we see ourselves at a huge deficit. If we lost hope about a comeback, we won't even play hard and probably wish the match would be over already. No miracle can change that since we have stopped working towards the small chance of a comeback.
For many people dealing with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses, hope is such a critical factor related to their chances of overcoming their challenges. They need hope to continue the fight until they can be victorious eventually. These battles don't last a few day, weeks or even months. Many constantly deal with this issues for years and hope is often one of the reasons they keep on fighting.
In our society, people facing such issues have a very uphill battle. We have a stigma towards mental health which is a large obstacle in itself. This results in fewer resources invested in mental health treatment. We can see this with where we can go if we were physically ill. There are clinics, family doctors and emergency rooms for various physical illnesses. The same cannot be said about the mental illnesses.
This is only complicated when gender is involved. When so few resources are invested in mental illnesses, we see very small portion of it invested in boys and young men. People assume that men can simply "man" up and deal with these issues. If mental illnesses were so easy to deal with, we wouldn't have such a problem in the first place.
When those suffering cannot find help, they lose hope in their fight. When they lose hope, they will search for ways out and some go for suicide. If we can better tackle mental illnesses and give people the help they desperately need, then suicide rates should drop dramatically. People might point to all the information online but these cannot be compared to actual interaction with another person.
A person can have the most incredible writing and type it all online. A touching story can be great but the typed words cannot do it justice. Neither do video do justice to a powerful speaker since there are things you only feel when you are in their presence. The same is for those seeking help. They need real live people who can offer them comfort and give professional advice. Their physical presence give anchor to those fighting what appears to be a losing battle.
For those fighting these incredibly difficult battles, they need hope to not only keep fighting but also hold onto the belief they can be victorious. Such hope cannot be given over the internet or over the phone. Such hope can only be given by the physical presence of someone who has been there and won the war. As great as videos are, there's nothing more powerful than being present to the storytelling of a veteran of mental illnesses.
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When we lose hope, we practically give up completely. The opposite is also true where even a glimmer of hope can get them back up. If we were stuck in a very dark setting where there's no light, we feel helplessness and despair. If a firefly came along, we see hope. The firefly might not give much light but it provides enough to get us going again, especially in absolute darkness.
While a sun or flashlight might be nice, a firefly is the smallest thing we need to overcome a darkness that's completely overwhelming. When we are young and deal with various mental issues, we don't know where to go or who to seek help from. If there was a firefly acting as our guide, we'd never notice the darkness. After all, the illumination would be the only thing catching our attention.
I knew that, when I was experiencing the darkness and attempted my suicide, a small firefly would've made all the difference. Most of us don't need a lot of hope. A glimmer of hope that doesn't vanish after a few seconds provides us with strength we never thought we had. With that strength, we won't let any obstacles or challenges stand in our way.
That's why we need to give people hope. We don't need famous and successful people to give hope. Ordinary people can change lives, especially if they faced similar demons in the past. They don't need to give a lot to those in need. All they have to do is share a small act of kindness or give some words of encouragement. Small things matter and we mustn't forget that.
There are people out there calling for help but their voices are often lost. Most times, their silence say more than what comes out of their mouth. Do the small things like greet people or give hugs. They might refuse to accept at first because they only saw ugliness of our world. Eventually, we can show them the beauty of the world by providing them light through the small acts of kindness.
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Hesitation
While I was exploring my past regarding what I needed to improve, I realized that I hesitated a lot. I thought about a lot of changes and got many great ideas but, after some hesitation, I never went through them. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people reading this. Whenever we do something new, we tend to hesitate since we doubt ourselves and wonder if this idea was good or not.
When we hesitate, we often think about the worst case scenarios if we went through with it. There might be good things but all our brain comes up with happened to be a list of bad thing. In essence, hesitation gives our brain time to come up with the list to help dissuade us. If we simply went through without hesitation, the list wouldn't show up and we likely would go through with it.
Now, this is essentially how brain is designed. It's built to protect us from danger and it worked very well for our ancestors who were hunting out in the wilderness. Basically, trying something new back then risked more. A mistake and they become some other creature's meal. That was the case then but no longer the case now. In many ways, failures nowadays doesn't meant immediate death.
I honestly don't think our brain has evolved. It still responds similarly as it had with our ancestors regarding pain, fear, pleasure and other responses. What changed is how our society operated and the technological advances we made over the centuries. We no longer run the risks of simply dying following a bad gamble. If anything, our current society rewards those who risks and never give up.
Hesitation no longer suits us nowadays when failures are basically lessons to get us further in life. Our brain might use hesitation to dissuade us but it's not always right due to how it's programmed. If we have a big dream, we shouldn't hesitate or there's a good chance it won't even get started. When you know you found your purpose, don't let hesitation stop you!
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Here are some ways I believe can help people overcome hesitation. Like most things in life, we need to figure out why we are hesitating. There are generally two reasons for why we hesitate, though there are a lot more other reasons depending on the person involved. The first reason is the lack of confidence. This is quite common where we aren't certain of our abilities to do a certain thing.
This lack of confidence might be due to low self-esteem or failures that were never forgotten. When we try to do something new, it's not hard to think back to our failures and begin doubting our abilities to do so. The fear of more failure easily transitions hesitation to outright rejection. No one want to fail and, as a result, the only route would be not taking action at all.
The second reason is the lack of courage. We lack courage to face our fears and the uncertainty. We might fear embarrassment following failure. In our society, many people want the approval of others. In a classroom setting, the person who stands out the most is usually the weirdo or the class clown, neither of which are really desirable for most people.
Regarding lack of confidence, people must know that they have the potential. They must also remember that things they could do confidently in the present wasn't always like that. For instance, people don't know how to bike when they were born. They had to learn and, after a few falls with some scrapes and cuts, master biking. This is the same with everything else as they're no different from biking.
As for lack of courage, people are braver than they think. This is often seen when they try out new things in life. This might be trying out a new cuisine or go to a new environment. For many people, the transition from elementary school to high school wasn't exceptionally smooth. It's a pretty big change with the pacing and the subjects learned. If people are adapt to these transitions, they can adapt to many other things and just have to believe in themselves.
In addition, the fear is natural because how's our brain is wired. Being fearful is part of being human but we mustn't let fear control our lives. This allows an emotion take over our decision making as opposed to our rational side or our gut. Our gut always have the best intention in mind while fear only gives our the options of fight or flee, neither of which are optimal when we try to pursue a dream.
The fear and confidence can be overcome by making small goals. Big dreams won't happen overnight but they are still made up of small building blocks. The building blocks can be accomplished each day and each of these achievements chase away a bit more fear and builds up a bit more confidence. Take these small steps and, before you know it, you have reached a certain milestone you never thought you can reach.
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Procrastination
Procrastination is basically delaying or putting off something until the last minute. I'm sure people reading this have experienced procrastination in their lives. I'm one of those people still working hard to change procrastination and it's a slow process. After all, we all know the difficulty of changing a bad habit which seemed to easy to adopt in the first place.
One of the main reasons why we procrastinate is due to the "I don't feel like it." We all heard people responding when we asked them if they did their homework or performed a certain chore. Now, why don't we feel like doing it? First, we lack the motivation to do the certain action. I firmly believe that things we need motivation to be done won't ever be done.
Motivation rarely lasts long and, when we lack it, we lose whatever got us started in the first place, assuming we started. Given how unreliable motivation can be, it's not a good enough reason to get something done. A better reason is fighting for a better future. A person who works full-time while studying will study harder than those who live with their parents and don't have such a heavy financial burden.
Essentially, those who are faced with problems like starvation and homelessness won't need more motivation to work hard. No amount of motivation for someone who's more fortunate can rival such a desperation. That's partially why I haven't done as well in school and I know there are people out there who invested more time and effort in school than me. We don't need more motivation in our lives. We need a better reason for why we are doing certain things.
Secondly, boredom also promotes procrastination. Many people like me see homework as boring so we procrastinate. We of course never procrastinate when we are doing fun things. When was the last time we put off the invitation of a party or an event related to our hobbies at the very last minute? For things that are boring, we don't see it as exciting and that's usually a good enough reason to delay it until it's unavoidable.
Procrastination really hinders our ability to move forward, especially for our dreams. Our dreams might be big and need five or ten years to become a reality. When we keep putting it off to start, we'll never get started and we cannot finish if we never start. The start of a dream is usually dull and boring so we need more than motivation to get started. Then, we also need a why to keep us going.
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Here are some other reasons we use to justify our procrastination. We might claim we don't know how to do something. That's clearly not a good reason since, in life, we don't have all the answers. Yet, that shouldn't stop us from moving forward. How many of us know how we should study or excel at school? How many of us start a job knowing how to do every single task?
The how actually becomes irrelevant because we'll learn how eventually. We need to have a good mindset heading in. This mindset sees us learning everything we can and mastering skills that will benefit us the most. We must also accept that mistakes will be made and learn from them. Life has an interesting way to showing us the how when we move forward. If we are too afraid to make the first step, even life couldn't show the how to us.
There are also situations where people do all this research about a certain thing and feel overwhelmed. Our internet has so much information and much of it will be useless for you. They won't benefit you in your journey leading to your dream and filling them in your brains means less useful info can fit it. Doing some research can be good but it's far better going head in and do research along the way for things you actually encounter.
Another reason is the fear of failure. This is closely tied to not knowing how. If we don't know how, we think up the worst case scenario. At school, we might think we'll fail and drop out. At work, we might worry about being fired for making a terrible mistake. There might be nothing supporting these but our imagination can be powerful and convinces us that there's a good chance of these happening.
Ironically, there are also people who fear of succeeding. Now, I have never experienced this and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. However, I have encountered people with this issue. They worry that, by getting a certain task done, the expectations are higher for them. When the bars are raised and they fail to reach them, they fear that people might accuse them of cheating the first time.
In life, we cannot hope to stay where we are all the time. That's the only way we truly fail in life. We cannot move forward if we choose to anchor exactly where we stand. Now, success is a good thing if we use it to keep working harder. We all want and need a chance to shine. There's nothing better than tapping into your potential and have people who recognize your worth.
It's one thing to find success and another to maintain this success. Then, it's something altogether different to reach newer heights after your initial success. We all have a purpose of inspiring the new generations so they want to pursue on these difficult journeys leading to their own definition of success. When we stand still, we become nobodies and no one want to be nobodies in our world.
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I want to discuss how I think we should deal with procrastination so it won't hinder our lives. One of the reasons causing procrastination is fear. We have fear of failure, fear of success and fear of uncertainty to name a few. When we let fear govern our decision making, we very easily think of the worst case scenarios that, while very unlikely, will stop us in our tracks of doing something.
These worst case scenarios can get so bad we actually see the act of doing something having the potential to kill us. We must remember that times have changed and things we procrastinate usually don't kill us. Let's use dreams as an example. Let's say you have an "unconventional" dream of being a singer or a writer. It's true that, when you start and before you become famous, your life will be tough.
You will be scraping by and making do of little to no income while you try to make your dream a reality. You need to constantly work hard and improve yourself. That and a little bit of luck will eventually see you succeed. However, scraping by is different from trying to survive in an environment where you are a prey to other animals.
Our ancestors, those from a time where civilization was just starting and much of the world is still wilderness, faced these kind of threats. A mistake by them might see them eaten by wolves or bears. They can ill-afford mistakes since they have only one shot at life. Nowadays, we cannot say the same since most of the mistakes we make won't kill us. If anything, these mistakes make us stronger as a result.
When we pursue a dream, we often travel a lonely journey faced with numerous obstacles. I never said such a journey would be easy but we don't face the threat of death like our ancestors did. That's why, despite the impression that our brain is protecting us, we must convince it otherwise with logic and rationale. Our brain is different from those of other animals due to our ability to better reason with ourselves and each other.
Here's one instance where internet can be useful. We can search up stories of people who achieved feats similar to our dreams. If we read about their stories, we see the hardships they encounter but, more often than not, most of these hardships don't come close to death. At the very least, they usually don't rival the worst case scenarios we thought up of due to our incredible imagination.
When fear is causing our procrastination, we need to do some research. Not too much or we'll never get started. We need to learn if there's any reason supporting the fear and not let the most unlikely scenario dictate how we approach an issue. When we can tackle the source of our fear, we'll allow our rationale, not fear, decide our future!
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This entry, I want to talk about procrastination caused by boredom or the "I don't feel like it" mentality. For both of these, we need to figure out our why. Not everyone needs a why to rid procrastination but I feel a stronger why can help many people who find themselves procrastinating regarding things like pursuing a dream they always wanted.
Regardless of what dreams we have, the beginning will be tough, dull and won't see us make much progress in our pursuit. For those who have started on their dreams, it's usually this stage when they give up. Things weren't as exciting as they believed it was initially. After all, we might pursue something we saw on the internet or television and those are the success stories.
We must remember that the start will get tough and might be filled with boredom. We must plan, make goals and do things that weren't fun. For instance, I have a YouTube channel. I enjoy making the recordings but those are only part of my tasks. I must also edit and, if the recordings didn't go well, I must redo the recordings. There are times when I have to make the same recordings multiple times until the sound quality is acceptable given my equipment.
We'll also encounter mistakes early on and these mistakes make it worse. We not only feel bad about being a "failure" but we also develop doubt in ourselves. We don't like the feeling of "failing" and these can discourage us enough that we give up altogether. For other dreams, they have their own frustrations and lack the short-term gains people often desperately search for and needing to justify their decision to walk this path.
At the start, we are building a foundation necessary to our success. The foundation is hard work that doesn't feel especially satisfying but we cannot ignore it. Imagine a high rise with a terrible foundation. How much trust would you put into something that can collapse onto itself because someone took shortcuts and didn't do the work need?
What gets us to build a strong foundation is our why. Why do I make videos and write these entries? I want to help people by providing a perspective and start a discussion. Too often, I heard stories of people suffering mental illnesses state they cannot find a place they can belong to. These people search for forums but I feel there's only so much that can be accomplish with words typed on a screen.
I want to make videos and podcasts where people can hear others talk about serious issues. We aren't always in the mood of reading something but we can listen. If someone cannot sleep, they can maybe turn on one of my podcasts and listen. They can hear how they aren't alone. They can also see both the similarities and difference between themselves and others with similar problems.
Having suffered but being fortunate to not deal with as serious issues as many others here, I think I have a duty to help those who seek for help. We cannot always expect the government to do something about mental health issues so us ordinary people have to stand up for it. That's my why so I'm not going to stop until I make my dream come true.
As soon as our why involves more than us, we stop fighting for ourselves. When we fight for only ourselves, we give up easily if we don't want to deal with it anymore. When we fight for other people too, we are constantly reminded that we cannot give up for their sake. That belief is what separates those reaching their dreams and those who give up shortly after they started!
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Realistic
In our lives, we all experience situations where people tell us to make realistic goals and realistic dreams. We shouldn't be dreamers and do crazy things. I heard this countless time and had agreed to it for a long time. Yet, times have changed and, after experiencing some lessons taught to me by life itself, I began to hate it when people tell me to be realistic with my future.
After all, what do they mean by realistic? Whose standard is this realistic based upon? What is realistic to one person might be unrealistic for another person. I'm a pretty skinny guy so it's unrealistic to see me lifting weights like I do it regularly. For those training for years, it's realistic for them. Until we define what's meant by realistic, we are basically sending the wrong message to people.
We each have our strengths and weaknesses so a vague term like realistic simply doesn't work. Our society has a mold which is considered realistic for everyone. We go to school, get a degree and then get a job. This is the most realistic view our society promotes, especially through our schools. Anything that strays from this path is unrealistic and frowned upon.
We must remember that not everyone can study and do well in exams. I'm one of those people who can do alright but it's not how I learn. The way schools teach and test are probably the worst match for me. On the contrary, I learn best with things I enjoy and I self teach myself. With my YouTube channel and website, I learn from guides online and obtained more useful things than what I can grasp from my lectures.
This is likely the case for many other people where the school environment doesn't suit them. They cannot sit still and need other ways of learning which is why our schools must diversify how classes are taught. If we use the same standards for all students, some will fail since they cannot excel in such an environment. This is especially bad for the newer generations who, after failing, get the idea they are stupid and worthless.
I was fortunate to learn from experience that I'm not stupid and worthless. I've merely been pursuing the wrong path and stumbled every bit of the way. I'm charting a proper course now and would have been on the way long ago if schools were so terribly structured and forcing its students into a mold. I have learned that the realistic expectations, goals and dreams society expect of us don't suit me so I'll walk my own path!
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Last entry, I talked how we shouldn't let society or other people decide what's realistic for us. What's possible for one person might not be for another. We know ourselves best or, at the very least, we are in the best position to discover who we are. The early stages of our life are discovering what we are truly capable of but this cannot be achieved by going to school.
Sadly, schools nowadays are aimed to teach us what to think and not how to think. They emphasis this mold we must fit into or we'll be outcasts and failures in our society. We can only discover who we are by seeing more of the world with our own two eyes, not through a monitor or screen. Only by seeing more of this world and meeting more people can we slowly piece together what makes us unique in this world.
For this entry, I want to talk about us setting realistic goals for ourselves. This is the realistic we determined for ourselves. We have picked what we wanted to pursue in life and what awaits us is to get there step by step. To get there, we make goals for ourselves and, by accomplishing each goal, we get closer and closer until the dream is a reality. However, goal setting isn't as easy as many people think it might be.
When we set unrealistic goals, we get into a situation where we don't meet it and get discouraged. Discouragement can be so powerful that many people give up on their dreams due to it. When we set proper goals, we can avoid this altogether. Now, you might wonder what I meant by unrealistic goals. One example would be expecting ten thousand loyal subscribers within the first month of making a YouTube channel. This isn't impossible but your odds are probably worse than winning a lottery.
There are unreasonable expectations in life and we must realize them. Too many people nowadays expect success instantly or very early on. Unrealistic goals are generally those that support these crazy expectations. When these aren't met, those people no longer think they can do it when they are actually experiencing what anybody else would experience in their situation. Some might get faster growth but, generally, the start is the toughest.
I personally believe that the early goals for people, regardless of what they pursue, is to make as many mistakes as possible and learn from them as quickly as possible. Early on, we shouldn't be expecting any success and, instead, learn how to build a strong foundation. Any success is just a bonus but we shouldn't expect these to happen.
It's through making mistakes and getting through the learning stages that we learn what goals we can set for ourselves. It's never a bad idea to set smaller goals but there's a difference between smaller and low goals. Small goals are merely breaking things down so we can see progress easier and build confidence through them. Low goals are lowering our expectations and killing any momentum we could have by playing too safe.
Setting goals is never easy and it's a constant learning process. The successful people nowadays are those who made plenty of mistakes and set goals they can reach. That's why we shouldn't be too focused on goal setting at the very beginning since we tend to make them unrealistic. Instead, we should learn when we can afford mistakes and become better informed in the matter to set better goals.
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